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Friday, June 19, 2009

I walke the line like Johnny Cash

Truth of it is: It's almost 80 degrees in my room at midnight, and the humidity feels like 100%. Yesterday we had tornadoes, and I've had a long week. I haven't written much in the past two weeks, making everything feel longer.

Whenever I think too much about getting published, its harder to write. The publishing aspect is terrifying and overwhelming, and it seems impossible. It's like the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know anything about writing a book.

And in the end, as much as I love my book, as well written as I think it is, how do I know if its actually good, if other people with read it? How can I know that? I have no experience with this sorta thing. I am very good at calling what's going to be successful and what's going to fail in the way of TV shows, movies, and music, so I guess I have an idea of what's popular. But I can't clearly see my work.

I'm always afraid that I'm a really, really bad author, and I just don't' know it.

I watched The Dark Knight twice today, instead of writing. It felt better somehow.

I think that's part of what's frustrating me right now. I want to write about someone like Christian Bale that kicks total ass. But I don't know how to write that. My superhero story idea tanked (the execution is wrong) and I don't know how to write a graphic novel. Someday, I'd really like to. That is, if I can ever get my regular novels off the ground.

Kalli really wants me to finish the third book in the My Blood Approves series, and I really should. I always would like to finish the second in the Switched series. Maybe I should just stick with one and force myself to finish it. I'll prolly feel better then.

5 comments:

  1. What ever happens, don't ever delete these blogs. The frustrations that you felt, the self doubt, it's so inspiring to read back on. I hope you smile when you think back to how hard you worked to get where you are. It's a much better story than someone who was given a publishing deal straight away.

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  2. I agree. This is very inspiring. I'm feeling the same things you are. Been feeling them for years, actually, but this is the year I'm going to do it!

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  3. I'm also YA Urban Fantasy writer, and I feel this all the time. Then there are those moments when I read something I wrote, and even through it's got misspellings and needs some serious editing, I LOVE it.
    I'm constantly worried about this though, it's so nice to know that there is someone who has felt that way to and gone on to be a success!

    - Cheyenne Lynnae
    Teen, writer of young adult novels, non-conformist, radical idealist.

    cheyennelynane.com

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