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Friday, June 19, 2009

I walke the line like Johnny Cash

Truth of it is: It's almost 80 degrees in my room at midnight, and the humidity feels like 100%. Yesterday we had tornadoes, and I've had a long week. I haven't written much in the past two weeks, making everything feel longer.

Whenever I think too much about getting published, its harder to write. The publishing aspect is terrifying and overwhelming, and it seems impossible. It's like the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know anything about writing a book.

And in the end, as much as I love my book, as well written as I think it is, how do I know if its actually good, if other people with read it? How can I know that? I have no experience with this sorta thing. I am very good at calling what's going to be successful and what's going to fail in the way of TV shows, movies, and music, so I guess I have an idea of what's popular. But I can't clearly see my work.

I'm always afraid that I'm a really, really bad author, and I just don't' know it.

I watched The Dark Knight twice today, instead of writing. It felt better somehow.

I think that's part of what's frustrating me right now. I want to write about someone like Christian Bale that kicks total ass. But I don't know how to write that. My superhero story idea tanked (the execution is wrong) and I don't know how to write a graphic novel. Someday, I'd really like to. That is, if I can ever get my regular novels off the ground.

Kalli really wants me to finish the third book in the My Blood Approves series, and I really should. I always would like to finish the second in the Switched series. Maybe I should just stick with one and force myself to finish it. I'll prolly feel better then.


  1. What ever happens, don't ever delete these blogs. The frustrations that you felt, the self doubt, it's so inspiring to read back on. I hope you smile when you think back to how hard you worked to get where you are. It's a much better story than someone who was given a publishing deal straight away.

  2. I agree. This is very inspiring. I'm feeling the same things you are. Been feeling them for years, actually, but this is the year I'm going to do it!

  3. I'm also YA Urban Fantasy writer, and I feel this all the time. Then there are those moments when I read something I wrote, and even through it's got misspellings and needs some serious editing, I LOVE it.
    I'm constantly worried about this though, it's so nice to know that there is someone who has felt that way to and gone on to be a success!

    - Cheyenne Lynnae
    Teen, writer of young adult novels, non-conformist, radical idealist.