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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Greatest True Story Ever Told (Not Really)

There's a couple things I wanna say before I tell you the greatest true story ever told (not really).

First, I've got things sorted out, and all my books are being published through Createspace. This means that in a couple days, they'll be available in paperback form at a reasonable price. The first three books in the My Blood Approves series and Switched are all $8.99, and Wisdom is $9.99. (That's a savings of over $6 for the first three books each, and this also marks the first time Switched will be publicly available in paperback.)

I will let you know once they go live, and I'll be sure to update the links on my blog and what not.

Secondly, in a note related to the first, if you have a local library that you would like to see stocked with any of my books, let me know. I'd like to try to contact a few of them, and see if they'd be interested in purchasing them or I can donate a few copies.

Thirdly, I've got some family stuff going on lately. It's nothing major or that traumatic, but for the next few weeks, I'm not going to have as much time devote to writing/editing/etc. This means I may have to push the release date for Torn back to the beginning of October, but I don't see it being any later than that. I'm sorry for the delay in things, and I'll get the books out as soon as I can.

And now is the greatest true story ever told (not really.)

Picture it: Saturday night, my living room. My roommate Eric and I are discussing Robert Rodriguez, having recently seen him on G4. I thoroughly enjoy Robert Rodriguez because his films are fantastic, he's a megafox, and he seems like a swell guy. Eric wondered aloud if his new film Machete is any good. I haven't seen it yet, so I went to the only reliable source I know for this sorta thing: Twitter.

I follow a guy named Shane Nickerson. To be honest with you, I'm not entirely sure who he is. His tweets are very amusing, and that's why I follow him. From what I gather, he produces Rob Dyrdek's show on MTV (but in full disclosure, I don't actually know who that is or what that program is about, but I am aware of its existence).

Upon reading the Twitter, I discovered that Shane Nickerson had recently seen Machete and said it was awesome. I passed this information along to Eric, and he asked, "Its awesome according to who?" I explained that Shane Nickerson had tweeted it, and that I generally agree with his tweets, so it seemed reliable.

That's it. That was all that was said about that.

Many hours later, at 8 in the morning, when I'm sound asleep, I wake up to see my roommate Eric standing next to my bed in his pajamas with his arms crossed over his chest staring down at me.

Naturally, I asked, "What are you doing?"

And Eric said, "Shane Nickerson."

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked. "What are you doing?"

"I got up and went poop, and you took my blankets. Where are they?" Eric demanded. (Side note: I did not take his blankets).

"I didn't take your blankets. I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "Go back to bed."

"Shane Nickerson!" Eric repeated, but now he sounded really offended, like I should completely understand what he meant by that.

After a bit of similar banter,  Eric seemed to realize that he made absolutely no sense and he went to bed.  This is how my roommate sleepwalks.

Later on, when we were both awake for reals, Eric said that for reasons he's not entirely sure of, he'd been convinced that Shane Nickerson had been involved in extensive blanket thieving, so Eric assumed that he'd been a victim of it. 

This is a true story. It doesn't really have a point. But I don't think I've ever laughed harder about anything. And even now, when I think of Eric yelling "Shane Nickerson" at me while I'm half asleep, I laugh.

So... that's the greatest true story ever told (not really.)

7 comments:

  1. that is hilarious!! oh God, its so funny. I can almost picture Eric standing there shouting "Shane Nickerson" !! you have got a splendid room mate there amanda. i mean it. :D

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  2. btw, what did happen to his blanket?

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  3. Nothing. His blanket was in his room. He's just a crazy person when he sleep walks.

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  4. Reminds me of my boyfriend. He sleep talks though. One night he was not really awake but still on the phone with me, he starts randomly talking about flying tubas. so when he is like that you can start babbling nonsense to him and he will respond back; then tell me the next morning about these questionable dreams of me freezing him into a huge block of ice for many years and that I married him while he was frozen and we had 13 kittens. Yes very entertaining. He also has spasms where one time he fell asleep on the table in the library during lunch in high school; his knee randomly jolts up and hits the table. Entertaining huh?

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  5. I would love to read your books. Our county library does not carry your books. Where can I get them beside buying on-line or from ebooks stores such as through Amazon?

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  6. @ Anon

    There currently isn't anywhere to buy them other than online. But if you let me know what your county library is called, I can contact them and try to see if they'd like to carry them.

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  7. The weird thing is, I DID steal all of his blankets. :)

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