Thursday, February 25, 2010

why I would never have sex with Christian Bale despite being in love with him

First off, I suppose that saying I'm "in love" with him is misleading. "In love" implies an affection based on knowledge and interaction, usually in a relationship of some sort. What I feel - for a person I have never met - is more like hero worship. I suspect it's the way many people feel about religion. Except better, because Christian Bale could and would kick someone's ass.

So, I'm not in love with Christian Bale, but I still would never have sex with him. We're assuming for the sake of argument that the opportunity has presented itself in a non-heinous way, like a blow behind a trailer on a movie lot. And we're also assuming that in this time frame, I'm mega-hot, like Megan Fox hot. I would still say no.

I've put a lot thought of into it, as its clear that I have no life, and I just couldn't do it. I don't even know how his wife does it, and I'm pretty sure he loves her. It would be far too intimidating. How could anyone ever satisfy Christian Bale? I don't think its possible.

And I don't just mean sexually. I wouldn't want to be the guy that brings him waffles at an IHOP.

To clarify - I don't think he's a dick. When he yelled at the lighting guy, it seem pretty understandable to me. (Except when he says he's through with him professionally, which makes me wonder if they still see each other personally, for water polo perhaps). I just think that he is a perfectionist with clear and high standards, and if they're not met, he doesn't have a problem vocalizing that.

Honesty and standards are terrifying. I mean, isn't that what makes Batman so awesome? And our government so terrible? So much about government is about pandering, which makes it impossible to really stand for anything. The urge to please everyone makes you liar.

So what we need out of government is the same thing we get with Christan Bale - the ability to say the brutal truth without regard, to stand for something, to work hard, and to embody something larger then yourself.

Also, the ability to make everyone afraid of fucking you is a pretty good deal too.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

maybe the most important question

Yet its one that I have never asked before. What is my story doing for you? I've never asked it for any of my novels, but I decided to ask it particularly with Switched, since I'm trying to publish it, and if someone else asks, I ought to have an answer.

What do I think the audience will gain from reading this?

Answer: I want to give what I've gotten.

Writing is it a joy, but that's not what I meant. The things I read and watch are because I want a chance to escape into something else. If I haven't cried, forgotten the time, laughed out loud, or felt my race in anticipation or fear, then I've probably stopped reading it ten pages in (or watching it ten minutes in). And I've also come to love that soft warm feeling in my belly when the heroine and the hero kiss (or almost kiss) for the first time.

That is what I want to give you, the reader. A chance to feel things and forget about what's going on around you. Life is complicated and messy, but more often, it's boring and it's a waiting game between events. But with a book, it can be all the good stuff.

When you stop reading, I want you to feel better than you did when you started, but I want you to want more. And if it all possible, I want to infuse a bit more hope and wonder into your life.

That's what I'm trying acheive in Switched. I want make you excited, not just about the book, but about life. When I am reading or writing a good book, it feels like I'm falling in love. I'm daydreamy, swoony, and I'm in a good mood. I want you to have that feeling too. That passion and happiness, and I want it to carry on beyond the pages.

So, that's what I hope my story does for you. Sometimes, it can make you think, but the basic idea is that I want you to feel good. And I think I can do that, if you're a teenager/early 20's girl/gay guy that enjoys pop culture and romance. If you watch the CW or read Twilight (or most likely, both), you'll probably enjoy my book, and you'll probably take away from what I wanted to give.