Amanda Hocking's Blog

Diet Mountain Dew & Southland

2012-02-10T17:43:00.000-06:00

This opinion is most likely not popular, but I really enjoy the song "Diet Mountain Dew" by Lana Del Rey. I also don't completely understand why people were so upset about her performance. Maybe it was because it was so over-hyped. I was in England, so I didn't get to see SNL that night, and my Twitter was blowing up with how terrible she was, and I was all, "What the crap?!"

I finally saw it when I got back to the States, and I didn't get it. It wasn't the most exciting performance I'd ever seen, but her music sounded the way it does on her album. Also, I once saw Nirvana play on SNL, and Kurt Cobain was so high, he just lay on the stage and mumbled the words. I mean, it was grunge, so I guess that still counted as being pretty awesome. But the point was at least Lana Del Rey stood up when she sang. And she didn't seem to lip sync or tear up pictures of the Pope. So whatever.

I also super loved SNL's response to it last Saturday, when Kristin Wiig came out dressed as Lana Del Rey. My favorite part was when Kristin Wiig said, "In this age of dangerous school bullying, you have sent an important message: If you think someone is weird, you should criticize them as much as possible."

Anyway, that's enough about Lana Del Rey, who I'm actually not all that interested in, despite what it might seem by how much I've been talking about her. I just like the song "Diet Mountain Dew." But I do not like the beverage Diet Mountain Dew. Only regular Mountain Dew. Which, as an aside, is IMPOSSIBLE to find in England or Italy. At the places I went to, anyway. And that's what counts.

Now onto something that really matters to me: Are you guys watching Southland? That is literally my favorite show on TV that isn't animated or Episodes. (I'm also not sure if Episodes is still on. I mean, I heard it was coming back, but it's still not on, so I don't know. But I really, really love that show.) I also really like Up All Night, but part of that probably is because I'm in love with Christina Applegate. And Dexter. (I've recently come to the conclusion that Dexter is basically just Batman. But better. Don't tell Christian Bale I said that, though.)

So back to Southland. It really is the greatest hour of television you can watch. It's a cop drama, but it's not all easy answers. A lot of these shows, like CSI and Law & Order: SVU follow one case each episode, and it's all glossy and dramatic. But Southland feels a bit more like an episode of Cops, but with more depth. It's grittier and more genuine. Sometimes it's really sad, sometimes it's really funny, and there at times when it's so intense I think I'm going to have a heart attack of intensity.

Also, it's always at the risk of getting cancelled, and it was really nice of TNT to pick it up. It airs on Tuesdays at 10/9 central on TNT, and you should watch it, so it doesn't get cancelled, because it's awesome. And Regina King is super bad ass and could totally crush Mariska Hargitay in a fist fight or an "tear up" off. Michael Cudlitz is really funny & has a nice story line going, and Ben McKenzie is super pretty. Plus, he punched a snotty teenager in the face the other week, and I liked it. Oh, and Lucy Liu is on now.

This blog really has no point, except that it feels REALLY good to not talk about books or publishing. So I might write a whole series of blogs where I talk about everything about books or publishing. That might make me really happy.

UPDATED: Look! It's a Blog!

2012-02-07T18:04:00.003-06:00

Hey, everyone! I just updated the FAQs section at the top of the blog, so before you ask a question, make sure you check it out. I also explain where you can get Wisdom for the Kindle.

You may have noticed my absence on the blog. It's been almost a month since I last blogged, which is the longest I've gone without blogging in a very long time. Probably since I started the blog.

The absence was partially because I was very, very busy. I was on a tour promoting Switched, and I spent a lot of time doing interviews. That was the other reason why there wasn't blogs. After spending all day talking about publishing and books, I found that I wasn't very interested in writing when I get done.

Also, I think I just needed a bit of a break. I wasn't very active at all on the internet last week, rarely tweeting or going on Facebook. Sometimes it's good to unplug and relax. But anyway, I'm back! I'm refreshed, and I'm working on Lullaby, the sequel to Wake. So all's well.

I also have some fun things to share with you. Where to start?

When I came home from the book tour, I got a nice surprise. An ARC of Wake were waiting for me, and they look lovely! As you can kind of tell from the grainy image below.

Wake is the first book in my brand new series Watersong, and the publication date as been moved up to August 7th, so that's also good news. If you're not familiar with what an ARC is, I suggest you read: here. The Story Siren breaks down exactly what it is.

If you'd like to get a copy of Wake for review, you can email publicity@stmartins.com. I do not personally have any copies that I can give out for review, so you have to contact St. Martin's. I can't guarantee that you'll get an ARC, because they do have a limited supply.

UPDATE: ARCs of Wake are sent out for people to review, but since they have a limited quantity of ARCs, they can't send them out to every person that requests them. That means they try to only send ARCs to people who have review blogs or journalists or people who have some way of promoting the books.

My publicist has said they're getting many requests for the books, and that's great, but they won't possibly be able to fill them all. If you'd like a better chance at getting an ARC of Wake, in your email, list your blog (if you have one) and any relevant stats, like how many hits it gets and how many followers you have and any other promotional stuff you would want to do for the book. I also recommend that you read what the Story Siren has posted about ARCs. She's done a very good job of explaining what they are, how to get them, and what to do with them.

Both myself and my publicist are sorry that not everyone can a get an ARC of Wake. But there will probably be giveaways on the future, and I'll be sure to post about them as soon as I hear of any. And I really appreciate all the excitement around the book!

Here's a couple of fun videos. This one is a tour of my office, done all MTV cribs style:

And here's one of my favorite interviews I've done. It's from a local PBS affiliate KSMQ show called "Off 90." The KSMQ viewing area is all around Interstate 90, so the title is a play on that.

In that video, where it shows my hands typing, this is what I was actually typing:

You can click to enlarge.

Okay. Yay! That was enough of me talking about me. Here's something really cool. The Other House is the production company that did an amazing job making the fantabulous US trailer for Switched. They posted some behind-the-scenes videos and pictures from the Switched shoot on their blog. Here's the link to the full blog: here.

If you haven't seen the awesome trailer, I'll post it again, and here's a couple choice pics from their blog, but you should really go to their site and check out the behind-the-scenes video.

Switched trailer:

And finally, Switched has been on the New York Times Best Sellers list for four weeks, and it's also back on the USA Today Bestselling Books List! Thank you to everyone for buying a book and to all the readers for being so supportive! :)

Happy Birthday, Wendy Everly!

2012-01-09T01:42:00.000-06:00

If you've read my book Switched, then you're familiar with the leading lady, Wendy Everly. And as you discover in Ascend, her birthday is January 9th. It's also the birthday of my friend Valerie, who is a real person. I just thought I should point that out since Wendy is fictional.

So Switched has been out for over a week, and the response has been pretty great.

I spent last week in New York doing some press, and not blogging nearly as much as I wanted to. Doing interviews is more work than it sounds. I did a great interview with NPR, which aired yesterday, and based on the replies I got, I'd say a lot of people heard it & liked it. I also did a radio interview with a BBC station, but I'm not sure when/where that will air, because I'm not nearly familiar enough with the BBC as I'd liked to be.

I also taped a segment for the hit daytime talk show Anderson starring the silver fox himself, Anderson Cooper. It was pretty much the most terrifying/fun/surreal thing I've ever done in my life. I'm not sure exactly when it will air, but the producers told me they thought it'd be somewhere around the 13th. But you're DVRing it everyday, anyway, right? ;)

I also did a meet and greet with a few local book bloggers in New York. That was actually really cool, and it was awesome to be able to have a conversation with them in real life. It's something I'd definitely want to do again. You can check out more about that at Good Choice Reading, where they have pics and a really awesome giveaway: here.

I'm back home in Minnesota now, enjoying a few more days with my friends, family, and menagerie of animals before I hit the road again for a big tour in the UK, Italy, and Spain. Over the next couple days, I'll be doing some local press, and a book signing in Rochester, MN at Barnes & Noble.

Right now, I'm sleepy, and should be sleeping, I wasn't sleepy like twenty minutes so I decided to give up on sleep after tossing and turning for 3 hours in bed since I have get up at 4 in the morning to drive to Iowa to do an interview for KIMT. But now I'm tired, and I don't think I should sleep, because then I'll be super tired, and won't get up in time to get ready, and I'll be on TV looking gross, and nobody wants to see me on TV looking gross.

Anyway. I'll try to be better about blogging. And after Anderson airs, I plan to post more about the taping of the episode.

Oh! And have you guys read "The Vittra Attacks?" I'm seriously dying to know what people think of it.

Book Birthday!

2012-01-03T23:04:00.001-06:00

Today was the day that Switched came out in bookstores. Here are some pictures of Switched in bookstores:

That's J. L Bryan's son John.

David Dalglish bought a girlie book.

Her husband made her the fancy shirt.

Those are my cousin's kids, Leyton and Miley, standing in front of my book.

That's my BFF Pete with my book at Walmart, You may recognize her as the original cover model for the first edition of Switched. So it's all come full circle.

I also did a book signing in New Jersey at Barnes & Noble. Thanks to everybody who turned out! It was a fun time.

That's what I look like when I sign my name at the Princeton, NJ Barnes & Noble.

Now I'm in the hotel room with Eric, eating sushi and watching What's Your Number? starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans even though Eric doesn't really like Chris Evans but I do, ever since I saw Not Another Teen Movie. (Also, did you see Chris Evans in Captain America? Him as a little guy, that was CGI, but when he was buff, he was really that friggin buff. That was crazy, right?)

So that was what my book looks like in stores. If you haven't picked up a copy yet, you should. And if you have, thank you! And if you've read the short story, you should tell me what you think about it!

Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll post more interesting things. But right now, I'm sleepy, and Chris Evans is half naked on the TV, so think I'm heading off. But thanks for making it a great book birthday!

Only One More Sleep... PLUS a Vlog

2012-01-02T18:45:00.000-06:00

I seriously wrote this entire blog on Saturday and set it up to post this morning, but it just disappeared. I'm very frustrated by this. But oh well, there's not much I can do now.

I'm now writing this new blog from my hotel in New York City, where I will be doing some promo stuff for the release of Switched tomorrow, January 3rd. I'm doing a book signing tomorrow at the Barnes & Noble in Princeton, NJ at 7:00 pm, and if you're in the area, you should totally check it out. I'll also be in the USA Today tomorrow, so you should also check that out.

I'm really, really excited and also mind-numbling terrified for Switched to hit bookshelves tomorrow. I can't wait to hear what people think of the new short story, "The Vittra Attacks," because nobody's read that yet.

Also, if you are picking yourself up a copy of Switched tomorrow, you should totally take a picture of yourself with it in the store. (As long as it doesn't break any laws or store policies). Share it with me via Twitter, Facebook, or email - hockingbooks@hotmailcom, and I'll post some of my favorites later on this week.

Now with all that rambling out the way, why don't I go ahead and post the vlog I made? It's actually a "tutorial" on how to pronounce some of the words in the Trylle books, since I get questions about them a lot.

So.. here it is:

And don't forget! Tomorrow is the big day! I sincerely hope that you, your friends, and every person you've ever had any form of contact with picks up a copy. And if you do, I really hope you enjoy it. I'm really grateful for all the support I've gotten so far :)

The Countdown Until Switched...

2011-12-29T23:04:00.000-06:00

It's only four days until Switched hits stores. I am sorta freaking out about it, but in a really awesome way.

I had a spectacular if exhausting holiday weekend. I ended up sleeping pretty much all of Monday to catch on the weekend's festivities, and this whole week has felt like a mess of catching up and getting ready for Switched to come out and for all the traveling I'm going to do.

I have an idea for a fun vlog where I pronounce all the words in Switched that people seem to trip over, and I'm going to write a blog letting you know some other fun facts about the book. I don't know for sure when these blogs will post, but I'm going to say one will post over the weekend, and the other will post on Monday.

Oh! Also, I want to issue a challenge to all of you. I'm super psyched about the book being in stores, so if you see Switched in stores and take a fun picture of yourself with it in the store (assuming that this doesn't go against store policy), and share it with me (via Twitter or Facebook or blogs), I'll post my favorites on my blog. But I'm going to emphasize - don't do anything that will break the law or store rules. Fun is fun, but illegal is bad.

I do have some sad news, though. My beloved turtle, Jasper Tortuga, passed away this week. He'd gotten a respiratory infection in early November, and even though he went to the vets and took medication, he never fully recovered from it.

RIP Jasper Tortuga

While I was very sad to see him go and he will be greatly missed, I do have a new addition to my family. He's a Russian tortoise named Gusgus Tortuga. He won't replace Jasper, but he's tough and adorable, so I think he'll be a good fit for my family.

Gusgus Tortuga

Also, I have new glasses! Check them out!

So... I'll blog more later. I hope you all had a good holiday, and that the 2012 is as fun for you as 2011 has been for me!

New Website, More Info, & Happy Holidays!

2011-12-23T15:38:00.002-06:00

Happy Christmas Adam, to those who celebrate this semi-nonexistent holiday. (It's Adam, cause Adam came before Eve.)

I'm only posting real quick, because then I have to be off to finish planning for the first of four holiday extravaganzas that I'm celebrating. But I wanted to tell you a couple of awesome things.

The first is this fancy new website is up - www.worldofamandahocking.com And it's fabulous. Other people who aren't me even think so.

One of my favorite things on the new site is Elora's Gallery. The paintings that Elora make in Switched and Torn are re-created here. There's three up now, but there's even more to come!

Other extra rad things include: the Changeling Quiz (see if you're a changeling), the Five Tribes (definitions of the five major troll tribes), and Videos (links to all kinds of videos about me and the books).

There's actually way more than that, and there's more content coming in the future, including the Castle Floorplan. So you should totes check it out, but only if you like checking out awesome things.

Also, I've updated all the pre-order information on the Trylle Trilogy to include links to the iBookstore. I also have a widget at the top, if you enjoy buying things through iBooks, as many of you do.

And, just throwing this out there - people are like, "Hey are the Trylle books going to be movies? I'd love to see them as movies! Please make them movies!" So far, I've done everything I can to get these into movies. The rest is actually up to you guys.

The best way to help ensure a movie is to sell a ton of books. Studios like numbers, and if the Trylle books are selling like hotcakes, they'll feel way more comfortable greenlighting the project. So, if you want to see these books as movies, I strongly encourage to buy them and tell other people to buy them. But if you don't want to, that's cool too. I understand. But I'm just keeping you in the loop.

Anyhoo, I should get back to preparing for the festivities! And if I don't talk to you before Christmas (which *fingers crossed* I won't, and I'll actually manage to stay off the interwebs for that long) -

Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!

Changelings

2011-12-22T23:09:00.000-06:00

I made a tab at the top of the page for events called Events, because I'm clever like that. I thought that would be a good way for people to check out what I have coming up, like book signings and release dates.

Also, I wanted to thank everybody for checking out the Trylle Book Trailer yesterday. It's already had over 130,000 views, so thanks for spreading the word!

As some of you may know, the Trylle books are about changelings. But not everybody knows what changelings are. Tor posted this really great write up on changelings and what they are and how that relates to Switched and the rest of the Trylle trilogy. So you should check that out: here.

I probably won't be checking the interweb much over the next few days, since I'm hosting not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Christmas gatherings at my home over the next three days. Yeah. I'm like Vince Vaughn and Reece Witherspoon. Only I don't hate Christmas or my family.

So I'm deciding to leave you all with a list of my favorite Christmas songs. Why, you ask? I don't know. I like songs, and I like sharing.

1. "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" - Death Cab for Cutie

2. "Last Christmas" - Jimmy Eat World

3. "Deck the Halls" - Idiot Pilot

4. "Happy Xmas" - John Lennon

5. "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" - Fall Out Boy

6. "Ice Dance" - Danny Elfman

7. "Maybe Next Year" - Meiko

8. "Feed the World" - Band Aid

9. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Local H

10. "Thank God Its Christmas" - Queen

Happy Holidays!!!!

Yay! More Things!!!

2011-12-21T19:42:00.000-06:00

Okay, first of all I have some pretty awesome news.

On January 5th, I get the pleasure of being on Anderson Cooper's new daytime talk show, Anderson. For those of you who don't know who Anderson Cooper is, you're silly people, because Anderson is awesome. He's perhaps most known for his CNN show Anderson 360 and his hard hitting reporting, including that time he got punched in Libya.

But he's perhaps the most fun when he's hosting New Year's Eve with Kathy Griffin or that time he co-hosted Regis & Kelly and he couldn't figure out what the deal was with the reality television program Living Lohan.

I've actually decided to post the video of Anderson talking about the Lohans because I think it's the funniest thing ever, even though I've obviously gone off topic now.

Okay. So back on topic. I'm going to be on Anderson, and I'm tickled pink about it. (You heard me. Tickled. Pink.) But I'm not telling you this just to share how excited I am about it or as a reminder to set up your DVRs to tape Anderson if you haven't already.

It's because the good folks at Anderson would like it if any of you in the New York area would like to be on the show to ask me questions or talk about me or something. Here's actually what the producers suggested I post, so I'm going to do it:

Amanda will be appearing on Anderson Cooper's daytime TV show this January. If you're a fan with questions for her or you've been inspired by her story, please go to this link. Thanks!
Be On The Show - Request Form | AndersonCooper.com
www.andersoncooper.com

So you should do that. But only if you want to.

Also, I know some people outside of the United States had issues watching the US Trylle Trilogy book trailer when I posted it yesterday. Well, it's up on the YouTube now, so it should make it easier to see. I'm posting it right now. If you love it, tweet it, post it, share it with your friends and even your enemies!

Here it is again, in case you missed it. The US book trailer for the Trylle Trailer:

Trailers Galore!

2011-12-20T13:51:00.000-06:00

I've got not one but TWO awesome book trailers for Switched to share with you.

The first is the US trailer from St. Martin's. Right, it's MTV.com's Hollywood Crush is posting exclusively, and they also had a nice little write up about me and the books, if you want to check that: here.

Remember the stills I should you the other day? Yeah, they're from this trailer. So if you want to see them in action, check it out.

Get More: Movie Trailers, Movies Blog

It's awesome, right? It's actually so bad ass that I feel the need to remind you all once again that this is a trailer for the book. The movie's pretty far off from the trailer stage.

Anyway, onto the next awesome trailer. This one is from St. Martin's sister company Pan Macmillon. They're publishing the Trylle Trilogy in places like the UK, South Africa, Asia, India, and Australia. I'm think they made this trailer for the UK, but anybody can watch it anywhere because its awesome.

Also, before you watch it - check out the girl playing Wendy. Does she look familiar to you? She might, because that's Natalia Tena who played Tonks in the Harry Potter movies, and she also starred in About a Boy, which happens to be one of my favorite movies ever.

So, here's the the UK trailer:

The thing I love about the trailers is that they're two different takes on Switched, but I still feel like they're both faithful to the book. The UK one appeals more to the fantasy part of it, and it reminds me of the hit film Legend, which I think is pretty cool.

The US trailer is more dramatic and actually encompasses the whole series. There will be shorter 15 second spots for each book individually that will be coming out in the future. I've seen the one for Switched already, and it's pretty sweet.

Anyway, I think the trailers are unbelievably awesome. I hope you dig them too!

A city so nice, they named it twice...

2011-12-16T20:10:00.001-06:00

It's only 17 days until the big release of Switched. Eek, indeed! If you haven't pre-ordered it yet and still want to, you can do so: here.

There's a lot of fun stuff coming up for Switched, including a mega-awesome amazeballs book trailer that should be premiering at MTV.com sometime next week. (I don't know the exact date yet). I saw the trailer on Wednesday when I was New York meeting with my publishers, and my sidekick/life mate Eric (who is actually a rather snarky, harsh critic) declared it "the greatest book trailer" he's ever seen.

So, me and Eric went to New York this week to meet with people I'd mostly only spoken to in email before, and that was fun. Everyone at St. Martin's is super nice. They even got me these awesome cakes!

Also, I talked to the people doing the audio versions for Wake (which won't be out until August 2012, although for some reason you can pre-order it already at Amazon), and it sounds like they have some really, really awesome ideas up their sleeves. I haven't listened to many audio books since I was a kid, but apparently, the stuff they're doing with them now is crazy awesome.

There's actually so much stuff I want to tell you, and I'm so excited about it, and it's hard to compose it in linear way right now, so if this blog seems a bit all over the place, I apologize.

I will be doing a book signing in the New York area (Princeton, New Jersey, I believe, which from my understanding is roughly an hour or so out of New York). For more info about this event, click: here.

I will also be doing a book signing on Rochester, MN at the downtown Barnes & Noble. (This is the one in the old Chateau Theater off Broadway, NOT the one in the mall). That will be on Tuesday, January 10th at 7:00 PM. For more info, you can visit the Barnes & Noble site: here.

Those will be the only two signings that I'm doing in the United States in January. I'm sorry that if I'm missing a town near year (and I probably am), but I had a limited amount of time for this book release because I'm going onto the UK to do some book stuff there.

BUT if you guys come out for these book signings, I promise to do more signings in the future. I'd love to meet each and every one of you!

Also, I wanted to give a shout out to Lisa Marie Pompilio. She's done the cover design for all my books with St. Martin's. So when you say the covers are beautiful, you're talking about her work. And she does a really fantastic job.

Oh! And if you haven't already, you should like the Trylle Series fan page on Facebook. It's this one here: https://www.facebook.com/amandahockingtrylle This one's run by my publishers, but I'll also be posting there. But my publishers have a ton of fun things lined up for it that I wouldn't have thought to do because they're better at thinking up fun things, apparently.

I feel like there's more stuff I wanted to talk about, like how fun New York is. (We ate at a restaurant, and I swear our waiter was Joe Pesci. I felt like I was in Goodfellas. It was awesome. Also the food was really good.)

But this blog seems long enough, and I've rambled a lot.

I do want to add one more thing: Wake - the first book in my new Watersong series - is already for sale in pre-order in hardcover and audio right now. It's not for pre-order for Kindle yet because Amazon doesn't allow ebooks to be pre-ordered until something like 90 days before the onsale date (which isn't until August 2012). So at this time, you can only pre-order in hardcover and audio at Amazon, but it will for sale in other formats and other retailers in the future. So anyway, if you want to pre-order, you can do that: here.

In conclusion: Yay for Switched! And I have so much more fun stuff to share with you guys in the coming weeks.

First Look at the Trylle Trailer

2011-12-09T07:00:00.002-06:00

I have to clarify that this is a BOOK trailer for the series. There's no new word on the movie yet. But the book trailer is really exciting and really awesome.

So, they're still finishing up the trailer, but I've got a few still shots from the shoot that I get to share with you all. Check them out and let me know what you think! (I think they're pretty rad).

I don't know why this says "after." But it's a picture of Finn ;)

There's Wendy!

Finn appears to be interrupting something

We need a little Christmas...

2011-12-06T21:53:00.000-06:00

I made Joy Behar's lasagna (the best lasagna recipe ever, as long as you skip the onions), the Muppet Family Christmas DVD is playing, and the fire is roaring, so I'll make this blog brief (or at least try to).

It's only 26 days until Switched comes out, and there's a lot of things going on. I'm doing a lot of interviews (with pieces coming out soon). My publishers are working on a super fancy website as well as book trailers that sound completely awesome.

Come January, I'm going to be doing a lot of traveling to the promote the books. That includes a couple of book signings. The only date I know of for sure right now is Tuesday, January 10th at 7 PM at the Barnes & Noble in the old Chateau Theater in downtown Rochester, MN (also known as THE coolest B&N location ever).

I'll also be going to England in January. I can't remember for sure what day I'm getting there, but I think it's the third week. I don't know what they have lined up for me to do yet, but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I do.

So yep. There's a lot of stuff coming up soon. Sorry it all seems so vague, but I don't want to pass along information unless it's concrete.

I went sledding today, and that was fun. But now I'm cold, and I should go eat some lasagna and drink some hot chocolate. And watch the Muppets.

Even More Covers...

2011-11-30T09:57:00.000-06:00

One of the funnest parts of being an author is getting fancy book covers. My publishers in the UK must've understood this, because they gave me not one but two different covers for each book in the Trylle Trilogy.

I'm going to be posting them in a second, because they're awesome and lovely, but first I want to explain to you what they are. These are the covers for the Trylle Trilogy editions that are coming out in the UK, Australia, India, South Africa, and Asia. Below each cover, I'll also be putting the release dates, since it's slightly different than the US release dates.

So... here they are!

These are the "adult" covers for the trilogy:

Coming January 5, 2012

Coming March 1, 2012

Coming April 26, 2012

These are the "young adult" covers for the trilogy:

YA Edition Coming January 5, 2012

YA Edition Coming March 1, 2012

YA Edition Coming April 26, 2012

You may ask yourself, "adult" version? I thought these were all young adult books? They are, kinda. But my publishers in the UK came up with the idea to add different bonus content the adult books geared more toward adults and different content for young adults. Both versions include the brand-new bonus short story, but in addition to that, they also have different interviews with me and a few other things.

I do want to clarify that when I say "adult," I don't mean x-rated. It's just information that adults might find more appealing than young adults. But no matter which edition you get, the story will be the same, the bonus story will be there, and the extra content will be fun and informative. And the cover will be pretty.

So what do you guys think? What's your favorite cover? Mine is probably the YA one for Switched. Or maybe the YA one for Ascend. But I don't know. They're all lovely.

Important Information

2011-11-21T12:47:00.000-06:00

I've been writing this blog in my head for a few weeks, trying to figure out how I was going to break the news to you guys. That's when I made the decision, but I wanted to wait until I'd figured out how to tell you before I told you.

And I want to preface this by saying I know it sucks. It does suck. There's no denying it. But sometimes the suckiest road is the still the best one to take.

So here's the news: I do not know when Swear, the final book in the My Blood Approves series is coming out. But it won't be anytime soon.

Now let me explain why: I can't write it. I published Wisdom over 14 months ago, and I've been working on Swear on and off since then. But everything I write feels wrong. I feel disconnected from the characters. It feels rushed and empty.

I started writing it three different times, each time deleting what was already written. I set it aside to work on different books, hoping when I came back to it I would feel differently. But so far I haven't.

A few weeks ago, I was trying to come up with different options just so I could put something out for you guys, but in my heart, I felt like it was terrible. I was trying to rush out something terrible because I wanted to meet an arbitrary to deadline that I'd given to you.

And that's when I decided I couldn't do it. It would be unfair to you to put out a book just to put out a book. It's a series that a lot of you have come to really love, and it's disrespectful to you, the characters, and the series itself if I don't put out the best final book that I possibly can.

Right now, for whatever reason, I can't.

I am sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. That's my biggest regret. That, and ever setting a release date for a self-published book. But I kept thinking that any moment, I'd be able to just get it, and the story would flow, the way it did with the other books. But it hasn't.

I do have the outline written for the last book, and I considered publishing that (for free), but I still think there's hope for me writing the final book. And publishing the outline would be the last ditch effort to give you closure. One way or another, I guarantee that you will find out how the series ends.

I do apologize, but I honestly think this is the best thing I can do for fans of the series. I would much rather not publish anything than publish a book that doesn't live up to your expectations.

Also, to prevent this from happening again, I will not be setting any future release dates for Swear. I won't talk about it at all - not until it's actually ready and about to be published. I don't want to get you hyped for something until I'm absolutely positive it's going to happen.

I am really sorry, and I know it sucks. I'm mad at myself too. But this is honestly the best I think I can do for you.

Hollowmen is For Sale!

2011-11-10T09:28:00.000-06:00

Yay! Hollowmen is now for sale for both the Kindle and the Nook! It's not yet out in paperback, but I'm hoping to have that in a few weeks.

It's already ranked at #93 in the Kindle store and #50 in the Nook store. And it has three 5-star reviews on Amazon. So, that's a good sign.

If you want to get it for the Kindle, you can get it: here. If you want to get it for the Nook, you can get it: here.

Sorry the blog is so brief. A camera crew is coming over today to film a little web piece for the interwebs. I'm not sure exactly where it's going up at, but as soon as I know the details, I'll be sure to post them.

Thanks to everybody for all the support and words of encouragement in the last blog, and I really hope you enjoy Hollowmen!

Hollowmen News!

2011-11-09T08:17:00.001-06:00

Good news, everybody! I have published Hollowmen for the Kindle and the Nook! They should both be for sale within the next 24-72 hours.

And because I know I'm going to get asked this a lot, and probably still get angry comments and emails demanding to know why people can't get the book yet, I'm going to bold this part: From this point on, I have absolutely no control or idea when the books will be published. It's up to Amazon and Barnes & Noble, and it should be sometime in the next 72 hours.

I'm very excited about this. I worked very hard on this book, and I hope that you'll all enjoy it. I definitely think this book is a bit more R-rated than its successor, so that's something to keep in mind if you're purchasing it for your children. As always, I recommend that parents read books before and/or with their kids so they can decide what's appropriate for them.

As soon as the book does go for sale, I will post links on where to get it at. People are usually pretty good about letting everyone know when they find it, so you can also check out my Facebook and Twitter, because things tend to pop up there before my blog.

And as excited as I am about all of this, I feel like I need to get something off my chest. I want to preface this by saying that I love you guys and I appreciate you and I know that I wouldn't be here without you. But lately, I've been getting more and more feedback stating that you don't think that's true. And I've also been getting yelled at more because I'm not doing things how or when you wanted me to.

And here's the thing, guys. I love you. Really I do. And I show that love by always trying to do the best I can for you. Writing the best possible books I can for you. I'm not a factory, though. I'm a person. And sometimes things take longer than I mean for them to, just because that's how writing goes or sometimes because things happen in my personal life.

This doesn't mean that I don't love you. I don't delay the release of a book to piss you off. In fact, I try to never set particular release dates for books so I can't disappoint you, yet somehow, for reasons I don't know, I hear things like, "Hollowmen was supposed to be out on October 19th! Where is it?!" When I have never, ever, ever issued an exact release date for that novel. Never. So I don't know where people heard that date, but then they were mad at me because I hadn't delivered on something I'd never even promised.

I try really hard to make everybody happy, but that's impossible, and as a result, I'm giving myself an ulcer and developing an aversion to blogging. Because inevitably a blog will lead to comments about how I'm making someone very unhappy in some way. And I don't want to make anyone unhappy. I want to make you all happy, and not just because of what you've done for me, but because I like to make people happy.

I am currently incredibly stressed out by a multitude of things going on my life. Not all of them are work related, but some of them are. And it's because of this I find it so upsetting when people are all, "You don't even care!" Because I care very much. Too much in fact, and it's probably this excessive amount of caring that is ruining my life.

I guess what I'm saying is that I do care. I am doing the best I can for you. And things might not always get done as soon as you want them, and I'm sorry about that, but things don't always get done as soon as I want them too, either. I wanted this book published in October. But it wasn't ready then, and I'd rather wait a month and publish a better book then rush through something and publish a piece of crap so you can have it sooner. I think that's far more respectful to you the reader.

New Cover Reveal!

2011-11-04T00:45:00.000-05:00

I have an awesome new cover to show you guys, and I will, but first:

Thanks to everyone for participating in Zombiepalooza. The winners from all the giveaways have picked and notified, so watch your email ;)

Hollowmen is back from the editor, but I'm still editing it. I'm hoping to publish it early next week.When I publish it, I'll post some more info about the book. Until then, Hollowland is free for the Kindle, if you haven't checked it out yet. The first un-edited chapter of Hollowmen is still up, if you want to check that out: here.

Now to the cover. As you may know, I have a new four-book series entitled Watersong with St. Martin's. The first book Wake will be out in 2012. The photographer for the cover is James Porto, my favorite photographer ever, and it really was a fantastic honor to work with him. His work is amazing. As is this cover. Don't believe me? Take a look:

I love it! I got to pick out the model, and the clothes she's wearing, which was fun. I think there will be also something extra with the cover when it comes out, but this cover is divine enough as it is.

Hollowmen First Chapter

2011-10-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hollowmen (The Hollows #2) is still with the editor, but it should be back soon. Until then, I'm giving you a sneak peak at the book with an excerpt from it. Keep in my mind that this version isn't fully edited. So, here it is:

“Remember us - if at all - not as lost

Violent souls, but only

As the hollow men”

- T. S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men,” 1925

1.

I was dying. Or at least I really hoped I was.

During the operations, I often screamed for my own death, begging them to just hurry up and kill me. They didn’t, though. They planned on keeping me alive for as long as they could, dissecting me over and over again.

I’m not even sure what they were looking for, and honestly, I don’t think they knew either. From what Dr. Daniels had told me, the doctors and scientists at the quarantine were no closer to finding a cure for the lyssavirus, despite all examinations and tests and vivisection they’d performed on me.

Daniels was the doctor I dealt with the most. He did the day-to-day things with me and drew blood, occasionally gave me shots, but nothing too terrible. All the truly gruesome experiments and surgeries were left with a nameless, faceless mob of butchers.

Even though Daniels repeatedly assured me that they were surgeons, some of the finest that had ever practiced medicine, I wasn’t convinced. Any doctor that had taken the Hippocratic Oath couldn’t act like they did.

In the night, they would come into my little white room – a windowless cell that was a cross between a lab and a prison. The surgeons always came when I was sleeping based on some theory I was more complacent when I was drowsy, but I don’t think that was true.

Two or three large men would come to get me, their faces blocked by surgical masks. They didn’t need them, not yet, so I can only assume they wore them to keep themselves hidden. They wanted to make this as impersonal as possible. To them, I was just a lab rat, and they didn’t want to humanize the situation with introductions.

I tried to fight them when they came, kicking and hitting as best I could, but I was growing weak. Everything they did to me, it was killing me, even if went much slower than I’d have liked. Almost all my bones were visible, and my veins popped bright blue through my nearly translucent skin.

I tried to work out – doing pushups, curl ups, jogging in place, anything I could think of to keep my muscles from atrophying. But I was barely eating, I hadn’t seen the sun in I don’t know how long, and I was constantly losing blood and the occasional organ.

When I’d first starting getting carted off to these surgeries, they’d sent four men, and they could barely hold me. But last night, they’d only sent two.

Lately, I’d been considering not fighting them, since it was a waste of energy. I never prevented anything from happening. I only exhausted myself. So last night, I’d attempted to not fight, to just let them take me away.

But as soon as I saw the operating room, I couldn’t help it. Just the sight of the cold metal, the ultra-bright lights, the scent of the disinfectant, it flipped a switch inside me. It filled me with an all-too familiar terror and a wave of intense nausea passed over me.

Each of the men had taken one of my arms, so my bare feet were still on the ground. As soon as the door swung open to the operating room, I bucked against them. I tried pull back and wiggle out of their grasps, and when that didn’t work, I tried kicking them.

But it didn’t matter. They were stronger than me, and I knew the only reward I’d get for my troubles would be bruises on my arms and legs.

By the time they dragged me over to the table, I’d given up on fighting on them. I’d resorted to begging, trying to appeal to their humanity, even though that had never worked. Anything I said – tears, prayers, bartering, pleading – it all fell on deaf ears.

They took off my shirt, and laid me down on the cold metal table. They held me down until the leather straps were secure. A strap ran across each ankle, thigh, wrist, and either over my ribs or my hips, depending on where they planned to cut. Today, the strap went over my ribs, so that meant my abdomen.

After that, the two men left, and I waited. Sometimes I’d wait hours, maybe even longer.

But eventually, the operating team came in. Five men, all dressed in white, their operating masks on, their hair in surgical caps, plastic gloves on their hands. It all appeared like any normal surgery save one thing – the patient was completely lucid without any pain medication.

All their surgeries were performed while I was wide awake.

“Please,” I begged them. I strained to lift my head, as if it would somehow be better if I could see what they were doing, if I knew what tools exactly they were using to slice me open. “Please. Don’t do this. You just did this a few weeks ago. I need time to heal. Please. Let’s postpone this.”

But they didn’t talk to me. They never even acknowledged me. They’d talk amongst themselves in low whispers that I couldn’t understand.

“Okay, if we have to do this, can you just give me a warning?” I asked. “Just let me know before you cut me. Give me a second to prepare myself. Okay?”

When nobody said anything, I lay my head back, staring up at the light above me. It was so bright, it nearly blinded me.

Then, without warning, I felt the blade, cold metal slicing through my flesh. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. This wasn’t even the worst of it. Cutting through my skin was the least painful part of what they did.

It was when they were inside, playing with my organs, taking biopsies, squeezing things, investigating, that was impossibly brutal. Sometimes I’d pass out from the pain, but not often enough.

I winced as excruciating pain began in my abdomen. I couldn’t see what they were doing, but my skin was stretching as they pried open the incision they’d just made. In a few moments, they’d be cutting into some organ I probably needed to use to stay alive.

“Oh hell,” I said through gritted teeth, and the pain got worse. I balled up my fists and pulled at the straps as much as I could. Blinding agony ran through me, and I don’t even know what I was saying, but I knew I was screaming.

A blaring siren rang out through the room, and for a moment, I just thought it was a side effect from the pain. But when I opened my eyes, gasping for breath in an attempt to fight the pain, I saw that the room had been bathed in flashing red lights.

“What’s happening?” I asked.

I strained to lift my head, but all I could see where the doctors hovering over me, their hands bloodied from cutting me open. They exchanged looks and mumbled to each other, but they didn’t appear to know what was going on any more than I did.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked again. “Did the zombies get in?”

The surgeon that had cut me pulled his bloodied gloves off, then tossed them on me. I felt them, cold and latex, on my bare skin. Then he turned and walked away. He’d discarded his trash on top of me, and he and the rest of the doctors were leaving.

“Hey!” I shouted after them. “You can’t just leave me here! Unhook my straps! Hey!”

But they didn’t come back, not that I’d really expected them to. There was an emergency, and they didn’t have time to waste on me. I was nothing more than a science experiment to them.

If zombies had broken in – as I strongly suspected – I would be a buffet for them. I was tied down, unable to move, and my stomach had already been cut open, giving them easier access to their favorite foods. If they got in here, they would literally tear me apart.

As much as I wanted to die, or at least I’d rather be dead instead of having these surgeries, I did not want to get ripped to shreds. I wanted a nice quiet fall-asleep-and-never-wake-up kind of death. And if I couldn’t get that, then I had to get out of here.

I pulled at the straps, but they didn’t budge. After surgeries, I always had welts on my skin from fighting against them. The leather was ridiculously strong.

But since I had no other options, I kept straining at them. I tried to arch my back, even though it killed my abdomen, and I rocked the table.

All my struggling didn’t succeed in getting myself free, but it did tip the table over. It clattered to the concrete floor. The metal holding my strap in place was crushed between the table and floor. It wasn’t broken, not yet, but if I could keep rocking the table on it, I might be able to get the one hand free.

In order to do that, I had to smash my left hand painfully against the floor, but it was the only way I knew to get out. So I rocked backward, almost tipping the table again, but it steadied itself on the side.

Finally, the metal hook bent far enough that I could slide the wrist strap out. The leather was still around my wrist, like a bracelet, but I didn’t care as long as my hand was free.

With my free hand, I reached up to undo the strap on my right wrist. That sounded simpler than it actually was. I had to twist my freshly sliced open abdomen and stretch and strain. I ended up crying out as I undid my other hand.

The other straps were quicker and easier, and once I finally had them all off, I got to my feet. I took a look at my incision. It only ran about three inches across, so it wasn’t the worst they’d done, but blood was seeping out of it down my stomach and pants.

I couldn’t walk around like that, not with zombies attracted to the scent of blood. There was a needle and thread on the smaller table with all the surgical tools. The butchers always sewed me up when they were done, so that was something, I guess.

My hands were shaking, and my left hand was sore and scraped up from hitting the floor. Plus, I’d never been that great of a seamstress. But I couldn’t just walk around like this, and I was certain the doctors weren’t coming back.

I threaded the needle and braced myself on the tray. Fortunately, all the surgeries had raised my pain tolerance quite a bit. Unfortunately, it still hurt like hell when I shoved a needle through my own skin.

I didn’t scream, though. I didn’t want to attract unwanted attention from a zombie. I just clenched my teeth and powered through it. I nearly threw up half way through, but I kept it down.

With slick bloodied hands, I staggered around the room. I found a towel and wiped myself as best I could, then I put on the shirt I’d come in with. I grabbed a scalpel from the tray, since it was the closest thing I had to a weapon, and I left the operating room to find out what was waiting for me.

It was rather anticlimactic, because at first, there was nothing. The third floor – the floor I lived on – was completely deserted. The red flashing lights and warning sirens had scared everyone, as was their job.

The next floor was exactly the same, but I finally found something when I staggered out of the stair well onto the first floor.

That main level was soldiers’ quarters. It was like a dormitory, where they slept and lived. It was dark and appeared to be empty, but as I walked down the hall, one hand running along it for support, I heard something coming from a room.

I didn’t think I could fight, not in this condition with a tiny scalpel, so my best bet to escape a zombie was to take off running. And that’s exactly what I did.

I’d only made it a few steps, my bare feet slapping against the cool tiles, when I heard someone calling my name.

Jenny Pox Giveaway

2011-10-21T00:00:00.001-05:00

If you've been following Zombiepalooza this year (or last year for that matter), you'll have seen posts from J. L. Bryan. (Here's last year's bog post if you're interested - here), and this was his post just last week. He's currently on A Parnormals Blog tour promoting his Paranormals Trilogy that includes Jenny Pox, Tommy Nightmare, and Alexander Death. There's actually a ton of cool things going on with the tour, including a giveaway for a free Kindle Fire (which looks REALLY bad ass), so you should totally check out the Paranormals Tour info: here.

Also, in related fun news, Jenny Pox is currently free for the Kindle. Yeah. You heard me. Free. And since Jeff has no control when Amazon makes it not free anymore, you should hurry up and pick it up while you have the chance.

I do have a really awesome giveaway for a signed paperback of Jenny Pox, too, and the details will follow closer to the end of the blog. But first, I figured I ought to tell you what this Jenny Pox is that I keep talking about.

Well, Jenny Pox is one of my favorite books I read last year. In fact, if you exclude graphic and books I've read for the second (or third, or fourth time), then I'd say Jenny Pox was the best book I read last year. Yeah. That's how much I loved it.

Here's the description of it I've pilfered from Amazon: Jenny's touch spreads a deadly supernatural plague. She can't control her power, so she devotes her life to avoiding contact with other people in her small Southern town. Her senior year of high school, she meets the one boy she can touch...but if she's going to be with him, Jenny must learn to use the "Jenny pox" inside her to survive his devious, manipulative girlfriend, who secretly wields the most dangerous power of all. Not recommended for readers under eighteen.*

But here's what I say about it (and then I'll come back to the bolded * part in a minute): It's a really good book. I stayed up all night reading it. I met Jeff (or J.L. Bryan to you non-D-list celebrities) in a message board, and I liked the cover of his book, so I bought it. A few weeks later, I just decided to check it out and see if it sucked or not. And it did not suck. It didn't suck it all. It was awesome.

He reminds me of Stephen King, but funnier. Jeff actually is a terrifically funny guy, and while I wouldn't exactly describe Jenny Pox as funny, it definitely has it moments. And it's really, really smart. It's sorta like Carrie, but honestly, I think it's a lot better. (Full disclosure: Carrie isn't in my top ten Stephen King books. Salem's Lot is, though, and I'd say Jenny Pox is right up there with that).

It also has touches of Alyson Noel Evermore, which in mind is why it felt like a YA paranormal romance. I do think Jenny Pox is definitely a paranormal romance but the YA part has been - and probably should be - disputed.

And now we come back to the * bold part. This book is not recommended for readers under 18. When Jeff wrote this book, he wasn't writing a paranormal romance or a young adult book. He was writing a horror novel. He didn't think of his audience being teenagers, so he put in some graphic content that he felt served the book best.

With that said, I think the overall storyline is fine for teenagers. When I was in high school, I was reading Stephen King and Michael Crichton, and there was things far more graphic in them, and I survived. However, as always, I suggest that parents read the books themselves and make the decisions for their children accordingly.

I'm making a big deal of pointing this out because the only negative reviews Jeff is getting on Jenny Pox are about the graphic content and how it's not a young adult book. And Jeff agrees with you. He never said it was a young adult book. I did. So it's my fault, and I'm sorry for misleading you.

Okay. Now that I've talked about it enough, here's the give away details for a signed paperback of Jenny Pox:

1. One winner will win an autographed copy of Jenny Pox.
2. The giveaway runs from today until midnight on Friday, October 31, 2011.
3. To enter: Comment below and with a way to contact you in case you win (email addresses work best).
4. Only one entry per person.
5. Winner will be chosen by Random.org.

Don't forget to snag a free Kindle version of Jenny Pox while you can and check out J. L. Bryan's super rad Paranormals Tour. Also, you can check out his website www.jlbryanbooks.com for more info his books and himself, and follow him on Twitter, because he's funny.

Light of Requim from Daniel Arenson

2011-10-19T00:00:00.001-05:00

Daniel Arenson is the author of several books, including Firefly Island and The Gods of Dreams. His new series, Song of Dragons, is an epic fantasy chronicling the struggles of men who can turn into dragons in the kingdom of Requim. Today's post is an excerpt from an upcoming book in that series. For more information on Daniel, please visit his website at: http://danielarenson.com/

_________________________________________________

The three boys swaggered down the streets, arms pumping, eyes daring beggars, urchins, and other survivors to stare back. The dragons had left this city; so had the nightshades. Now, in the ruins after the war, new lords arose. The Rot Gang ruled now.

"Slim pickings today," said Arms. The wiry, toothless boy was seventeen. He crossed his namesake, arms long and hairy as an ape's. "We've been searching this cesspool all morning. These streets are clean."

Teeth glowered at him. "Shut your mouth, Arms," he said. With a long, loud noise like a saw, he hawked and spat. The glob landed at Arms' feet and bubbled.

Arms glowered back, spat too, and muttered.

The third Rot Gang boy--a gangly youth named Legs--watched and smirked. Drool dripped from his heavy lips. He towered seven feet tall, most of his height in his stilt-like legs. He was dumb, even dumber than Arms, and useless in a fight. Teeth kept him around because, well, Legs made him look normal. So what if my teeth are pointed like an animal's? Around Legs, nobody notices.

"You like that, freak?" Teeth asked him. "You like me yelling at old Arms here?"

Legs guffawed, drooled, and scratched his head. He had a proper name, though Teeth didn't know it. He didn't care. Freaks didn't deserve proper names.

"Yeah I like Arms angry-like, I do," said Legs. "Makes me laugh, his little eyes, all buggy like so." He brayed laughter.

Arms turned red. His eyes did bulge when angry. He trundled toward Legs and punched, hitting him in the stomach. The lanky boy screamed. Tears welled up in his eyes. He swiped at Arms, but the wiry youth dodged the blow.

Teeth spat again. "Useless in a fight, you freak," he said to Legs. "I don't know why I keep you around. Come on, break it up! You want to eat tonight? Let's keep looking. You too, Arms. There are bodies left in this city. We'll find them. And if we can't, we'll make our own."

Legs was crying and Arms muttering. Teeth snarled, pushed them forward, and the Rot Gang kept moving down the street. Blood dripped from Leg's nose, leaving a trail of red dots behind them.

Confutatis lay in ruins. Fallen bricks, shattered statues, and broken arrows covered the city. The nightshades had done their work well; the dragons had finished it. You could go days without seeing a soldier, priest, or guard, but you always saw urchins. They huddled behind smashed statues, inside makeshift hovels, or simply under tattered blankets. When they saw the Rot Gang, they cowered and hid. Teeth smirked as he swaggered by the poor souls. On the first week after the dragons, when survivors were claiming their pockets of ruin, many children had challenged him, adults too. His sharpened teeth had bitten, severing fingers, ears, noses. One boy, he remembered, had tried to steal a chicken from him; Teeth had bashed his head with a rock, again and again, until he saw brains spill. The memory boiled his blood and stirred his loins. He missed killing.

Legs guffawed and pointed. "Hey boss, look here, you see them, little ones, hey." He snickered and wiped his nose, smearing blood and mucus across his face.

Teeth stared. He saw them. A gaggle of urchins--little girls. They hid behind a fallen statue of Dies Irae. One cradled a dog in her arms. When they saw the Rot Gang, the girls froze. Then they began to flee.

"Catch them," Teeth commanded.

Arms and Legs shot out, the former lumbering like an ape, the latter quick as a horse. Teeth stood and watched. Three girls disappeared into a maze of fallen columns. Arms hit another with a rock, knocking her down. Legs grabbed the girl with the dog.

"Bring her here," Teeth said.

The girl was kicking and screaming, but Legs held her tight. Arms approached with his own catch. He held his girl in his arms; she was unconscious, maybe dead.

"Let go, help, help!" The girl in Legs' grasp was panting, face red. Her dog quivered in her grasp.

Teeth stepped forward. He snatched the dog from the girl. He clutched it by the neck, squeezed, and held it out.

"You want your dog back, you little whore?" he said. His blood boiled. A smile twisted his lips. The mutt was squirming and squealing, but powerless to escape.

The girl nodded. "Give him back. Let go!"

Teeth slammed the dog against the ground. It whimpered. Teeth kicked it hard, and it flew toward Arms. The apelike boy laughed, and kicked it back, and blood splattered the cobblestones.

"Kick dog!" Legs said. "Kick dog, I want to play it."

The girl screamed and wept as they played. Finally Teeth grew bored. The dog was no longer squealing, and the game was no longer fun.

"Enough," he said. "We've come seeking bodies, not whiny little whores. Legs, let her go."

The gangly boy dropped the girl. Her knees hit the cobblestones, spilling blood, but she seemed not to notice. She raced forward, lifted her dead dog, and cradled it.

Teeth laughed. "You idiot. The damn thing's dead. What kind of freak wants a dead dog for a pet?" He scratched his chin. "I wonder if Irae would pay for a dead dog."

Arms shook his head. "Nah. No way. You know Blood Wolves?"

Teeth glared at him. "You know I do. You know I hate Blood Wolves. You calling me an idiot, Arms? If that's what you're doing, I'll play some Kick Arms, and have a nice body to sell."

Legs laughed, spraying saliva. "Kick Arms, Kick Arms, I like to play it."

Arms picked his nose. "I ain't calling you nothing. Cool it, Teeth. But Blood Wolves, you see, they've been bringing dead dogs, and horses, and what not. I hear the soldiers speak of it. Even brought a whole dead griffin, they did, Sun God knows how they dragged it. Worth coppers at best, the dogs. A griffin might fetch gold, maybe, but not dogs and horses and all that rubbish. He needs limbs most, human limbs. Heads too. Men, you know. With brains and what not. That's how you make mimics, not dogs." He snatched the dead dog from the girl and tossed it. It flew over a pile of bricks, and the girl ran weeping to find it.

Teeth knew that Arms was right. Sometimes he saw mimics with animal parts--a horse's hoof here, a dog's head there--but they were rare. Human bodies were what the Rot Gang specialized in, but pickings were slim lately, other gangs were growing, and their pockets were light. Teeth knew it was a matter of time before they'd have to stop hunting bodies, and start making bodies. He didn't like to think about that. Not with the Blood Wolves around, a hundred grown men with daggers and clubs, and him with an apelike oaf and a skinny giant who'd piss themselves in a fight sooner than kill a man.

"All right, let's go, north quarter today. Lots of ruins there. Bodies underneath them, rotting maybe, but they'll still fetch some coin, good bronze too."

They continued through the winding streets, passing by fallen forts, crushed hovels, and cracked statues of Dies Irae. Old blood stained the cobblestones. The ash of nightshades, and the fire of dragons, had blackened the ruins. Teeth remembered the battle, not a moon ago. The five dragons had swooped upon the city, blowing fire. Benedictus the Black had led them, and he led griffins too. Nightshades had fought them, and Teeth had never seen so much fire and blood; it rained from the sky. The next day, as men lay rotting in the streets, Teeth had begun to collect.

Finally they reached the smaller, northern quarters, where there were barely streets anymore, merely piles of bricks and wood.

"Dig," Teeth barked at the other boys.

They climbed onto the piles of debris and began rummaging. Wind moaned around them, smelling of rot. Teeth cursed as he worked. If there were no bodies left in the city, there was no money either. He'd have to escape into the countryside like so many others.

I could become an outlaw... live in the forests, hunt travellers, grab plump peasant girls when I can find them. That didn't sound too bad, but Teeth knew little about the forest; he had spent his life on these streets.

I could join the Earthen too, if they're real, he thought. Folks whispered about the Earthen sometimes--wild Earth God followers who lived in caves. Some said they were building weapons, preparing for a strike against Dies Irae, the man who had toppled their temples and banned their faith. But Teeth didn't care much for gods or holy wars, no more than he cared for the wilderness. This city is a cesspool, but it's all I know.

The smell of decay hit his nostrils with a burst, so strong he nearly fell over. Teeth spat, dizzy. He pulled aside two bricks and saw a rotting head. He pulled it up by the hair; it came loose from its body. The head was pulsing with maggots, so bloated it looked like a leather sack. Arms tossed it aside in disgust, and it burst.

"Bah! These bodies are useless now." He clenched his fists. "They're too old, too swollen, no good for anyone anymore. How would Irae sew these together? You just look at them, and they fall apart. Nothing left of them but rot."

Behind him, Arms brayed a laugh. "I tolds you, Teeth. I tolds you. We need to bring animals, dogs and what not, and those little girls maybe, they have teeth that can bite."

Teeth growled. He marched across the pile of bricks and grabbed Arms' collar. "Dogs? Little girls? I want silver, Arms. Gold if we can get it. Not copper pennies. I'm not a beggar like the Blood Wolves."

Arms stared, eyes burning. "I should join the Blood Wolves, I should. Look at you. This is your gang? A group of freaks. You with your dog teeth, and Legs with those stilts of his. It's pathetic, it is."

Legs guffawed and drooled. "Dog teeth, dog teeth! I like to see them."

Teeth growled, drew a knife from his belt, and held it at Arms' throat. Arms stiffened, and his eyes shot daggers.

"You don't like it here?" Teeth hissed. His stomach churned, and rage nearly blinded him. He hands shook, and his heart pounded. "You want to join the Blood Wolves?"

Arms snarled, the knife at his neck.

"Yes," he hissed.

Teeth swiped the knife across his throat. Blood sprayed in a curtain. For an instant, Arms seemed not to notice. He merely stared, eyes narrowed. Then he grabbed his throat, trying in vain to stop the blood. He fell to his knees, and suddenly he was weeping, and trying to speak, trying to breathe, but he could do neither.

Teeth stared down at him. "There's your blood, Arms. Blood's what you wanted. Blood's what you got. And I got my body. A body with nice long arms."

He could have given Arms a better death. He could have finished the job--stabbed him in the heart, or bashed in his head. But Teeth wanted to watch. He stood over the thrashing boy, until Arms merely twitched, stared up with pleading eyes, then gurgled and lay limp. For several moments he merely whimpered and his eyelids fluttered. And then Teeth had his body for the day.

The wind moaned as Teeth and Legs carried the body through the rubble. It cut through Teeth's clothes and pierced his skin. The blood was sticky on his fingers. The sun was setting when they saw Flammis Palace ahead. Two of its towers had collapsed, and several walls had crumbled. It wasn't much better off than the rest of the city, but Dies Irae still ruled there. His banners, white and gold, thudded atop the remaining towers. His guards covered the standing walls, bows in hands.

Teeth and Legs approached the front gates. The bricks were blackened from fire, and the doors turned to charcoal. The dragons had breathed most of their fire here when storming the palace. Guards stood outside the charred doors, clad in plate armor, swords in hands. Their skin looked sallow, and sacks hung beneath their bloodshot eyes. There wasn't much food in Confutatis anymore, and folk whispered that some of the guards had taken to eating the bodies. The stench of rot hung heavy here.

"New body for the Commander," Teeth told the guards. "Fresh, this one."

Legs nodded, holding Arms' other end. "Fresh, fresh! We like them that way. Yes sir we do."

The guards grunted. "All right, boys. Looks better than your last catch. In you go."

Teeth tugged the body, moving past the broken doors. Legs followed. They stepped into a hallway, its northern wall fallen. Bloodstains covered the floor. Ash covered the ceiling. One column was smashed and stained with old blood. Teeth knew the way. Hoisting the body, he turned left into a stairwell. The stairs wound into shadows. Torches lined the walls, but most were unlit. Teeth and Legs delved into the dungeons of Flammis Palace, the stairway leading them down and down into the cold and darkness. The palace was twice as deep as it was tall, and Teeth climbed down to its deepest chambers.

Screams, creaks, and squeals echoed through the tunnels. A man laughed. A saw grinded. Screeches rose and fell.

Teeth and Legs walked down a hallway, its floor sticky with blood, and entered a towering chamber. Torches lined the walls, flickering against rows of tables. Body parts covered the tabletops. Rows of legs covered one table, arms another, heads a third. A pile of torsos rotted in the corner. Uncarved bodies hung on walls and filled wheelbarrows.

Dies Irae stood at the back of the room.

Teeth froze. On previous visits, he had met underlings, not the Commander himself. He had not expected to meet Dies Irae here. Once emperor of a mighty realm, today Dies Irae ruled a pile of desolation, death, and disease. His skin was grey. Blood stained his clothes. He stood by a table where lay a torso. Sleeves rolled back, he was gutting it.

Teeth cleared his throat, blinked, and tried to quell the shake that found his knees.

"Commander," he said. "We brought you a body. A fresh one, my lord."

Legs brayed. "Fresh, fresh, that's how we like them, yes sir we do."

Dies Irae looked up from his work. His one eye blazed blue. A patch covered his other eye. Teeth knew the story. Benedictus the weredragon had taken that eye from him, as he had taken Dies Irae's left arm; a steel arm grew there now, its fist a spiked mace head.

"A fresh one?" Dies Irae asked. His voice was hoarse. Wrinkles creased his brow. "Yes. Yes, very fresh."

Teeth and Legs placed the body on a table. Teeth stifled a cough, struggling not to gag from the chamber's stench. Maggots were crawling on some of the bodies. Worms filled others.

"A fresh body, and look at its arms," Teeth said. "Look at how long they are, my lord. Long and strong, like an ape's. This one's worth two silver coins, one per arm at least, my lord. A good body. Strong and fresh."

Dies Irae examined the dead body, furrowed his brow, and touched those long arms. He smiled, his lips twisting like worms. "Yes. Yes, strong. Fresh."

Teeth didn't like this. He wanted to leave. On previous visits, underlings would examine his finds, mutter, and pay. But Dies Irae seemed... too quiet, lost in his own worlds. Teeth noticed that specks of blood covered the man's lips. He shivered. Had Dies Irae been eating the bodies?

"My lord?" he said. There were bite marks on the body, he saw. Now Teeth definitely wanted to flee. "My lord, two silvers would be our price, if it please you. We'll find you more bodies. We're the Rot Gang."

Dies Irae walked around the table and approached him. He was tall, Teeth saw. Not as tall as Legs, maybe, but heavier, all muscle and grit. Dies Irae stared at him with his good eye.

"Those are good teeth you have there," he said. He licked his lips, smearing blood across them. "Sharp. I bet they can just... bite into somebody." He snapped his own teeth, as if to demonstrate. "I could use teeth like that."

Beside them, Legs guffawed. "Dog teeth, dog teeth, I like to see them. Yes sir I do."

Dies Irae turned to face him, as if seeing Legs for the first time. "Well, young man, aren't you a tall one. Look at those legs you've got there. I bet they could just..." Dies Irae stamped his feet. "Run! Run like the wind, I bet they can."

Legs brayed. "They run, Legs they call me, yes sir they do."

Teeth didn't like this. Suddenly he didn't care about the coins any more.

"My lord, if you'll excuse us, we'll be on our way," he said. He turned to face the doorway.

A mimic stood there. Not a dead body, but an animated thing, patched together, sewn from the strongest parts. A creature with worms for hair, claws on its fingers, and death in its eyes. It blocked the doorway, grinning. Insects bustled in its mouth, and its eyes blazed red.

"They are strong," Dies Irae said. "They are made from the best. The best parts. I build them myself."

He swung his mace at Legs.

It hit the boy's head, crushing it.

As Legs collapsed, Teeth ran to the wall and grabbed a torch. He held it before him as a weapon.

"Don't touch me, old man!" he warned, waving the torch.

Dies Irae's lips curled back; Teeth couldn't decide if it was a snarl or a grin.

"But I will touch you," he said. "I will make you stronger. I will give you the right parts."

Teeth lashed his torch.

Dies Irae sidestepped.

The mace swung.

Pain exploded against Teeth's chest. The mace swung and again hit his chest. His ribs snapped. He couldn't breathe. Blood filled his mouth.

He fell to his knees. The last thing he saw was Dies Irae grinning, and the mace swung again.

Light exploded. Blood and pain flowed across him. He knew nothing more.

Hollowland Giveaway!

2011-10-18T14:25:00.000-05:00

In anticipation of the release of Hollowmen (The Hollows, #2) (which is currently with the editor and should be out sometime within the next few weeks, barring a nuclear holocaust or a zombie apocalypse), I'm going to be giving away THREE signed paperbacks of Hollowland (The Hollows, #1).

"This is the way the world ends; not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door."

Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

Here's the details about the giveaway itself:
1. There will be three winners, with each person receiving one signed paperback of Hollowland.
2. The giveaway runs from today until midnight on Friday, October 31, 2011.
3. To enter: Comment below and with a way to contact you in case you win (email addresses work best).
4. Only one entry per person.
5. Winner will be chosen by Random.org.

I Was Once... from David Dalglish

2011-10-17T00:00:00.001-05:00

Today we're treated with a short story from David Dalglish, author of the Half-Orcs series and Shadowdance Trilogy. For more information on David, please visit his website at ddalglish.com

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I Was Once...

My first sensation was of the earth, cold and loose, as I dug my way toward the surface. My thoughts were chaotic fragments of images, without names or meaning. I felt my fingernails peel back, felt rocks rip into my flesh. No pain.

Why was there no pain?

Oh god.

I wasn’t breathing. Dirt caked against my lips and nostrils, but it didn’t matter. No fire burned in my lungs. I didn’t even have to fight the impulse. My frantic clawing increased, and I felt memories hanging like monsters in the distance, threatening to overwhelm me. When my fist punched into open air, I might have cried if I had any tears left in my eyes. Thrashing, clawing, I emerged. My eyes were open, but I saw little, just darkness, and a man. Impulses filled me, a feral anger that directed me toward him, this shapeless shadow.

Something slipped around my neck. Awareness struck me hard enough I thought I might fall backward. I didn’t, though. I only stood there, my mouth hanging open, my arms stiff at my sides. My vision improved, and in the sudden stillness I took in my surroundings. The night was dark, clouds blotting out the stars. Candles surrounded me, creating a blasphemous formation that filled my stomach with fire upon seeing it. All around me were tombstones, but I could not read the letters. And towering over me was the man.

He was tall, pale of skin, with his long hair falling down past his shoulders. He wore a strange robe, but underneath I caught site of simple jeans. Various amulets and trinkets hung from leather straps about his neck. I keenly remembered wanting to hurt him, but the impulse was gone. Nothing about him was familiar, but he seemed to know me.

“Welcome back, Jessie,” he said, and his thin lips spread into a grin.

Jessie?

I looked down at myself. I wore what might have once been a pretty dress, though it was wrinkled and dirty now. As for its color, I couldn’t tell. Colors seemed strange to me. It’d torn during my climb, exposing bare, gray flesh. Upon my chest I saw two breasts, purple, thin, and sagging, but breasts nonetheless. Between them hung a red crystal, like many of the trinkets master wore. Long, stringy hair cascading down past my face. My hair.

I was a woman, and my name was Jessie. That was all I knew.

“Kneel,” said the stranger.

My body acted on its own, without hesitation. I fell to my knees. With strange detachment, I watched my flesh rip away as I scraped against a stone, exposing the bony white kneecap beneath. No pain, only sensations. I was getting better at recognizing them, realizing what they were. I tried to ignore the squirming sensations deep inside me, fearing I knew what they were. At some point they’d burrow their way free, eat through my eyeballs, and fill my lungs with eggs. But not yet.

Two more things I knew, then. I’d been buried recently, and this man was not just a man, but my master.

“That bitch still won’t let me touch her,” said my master as he patted his robe, looking for something. He pulled out a picture from the pocket of his jeans and held it before me.

“Recognize her, Jessie?” he asked.

I tried to answer, but my jaw refused to cooperate. My tongue squirmed inside my mouth like it was an alien thing. My response came out as a guttural moan, indecipherable even to me.

“Just nod or shake your head,” said my master. “I can’t understand a word you’re saying. Now do you recognize her?”

It took a moment of concentration, but the muscles in my neck finally relented. My head swung side to side, jerky, over exaggerated movements, but they were the best I could do.

“That’s fine,” he said. “Don’t matter none. Look at the picture. Look closely. Her name is Liz. You know where she lives, don’t you?”

I did. I couldn’t answer how, or why, but as I stared at the picture, and felt the candles burning about me, I knew I could find her with my eyes closed. She burned like a beacon in the distance, a cold brightness overwhelming the rest of the world’s muted grays. Like I said, colors were strange now.

“I asked you a question,” he said. My head flung all the way back, then slammed forward. Wasn’t me this time. I’d had no choice in the matter. He seemed pleased. I might have felt revulsion at the sick grin on his face, but compared to the sick sloshing in my abdomen, of my intestines swimming in formaldehyde, it was only a mild irritation.

“Go get her,” my master said. “Tear her throat out, then return here. I’ll be waiting.”

I let out another guttural moan. My waist twisted, and I felt my muscles tearing. They didn’t want to move, everything was so stiff. I had no choice, though, no choice. Master wanted Liz killed, and so I would. My upper half facing the right way, my legs shifted to follow. Soft popping noises came from my joints as I shuffled about. My movements gained a bit of gracefulness, so to speak. The stiffness was leaving me, step by step.

“Go get her,” my master said again, and it urged me on. Liz. Find Liz. Kill her. Tear out her throat. Imagining her blood welling across my tongue filled me with a shocking hunger. Deep in my belly, I felt the ache, the yearning to consume something still bleeding. Still overwhelmed with emotions. Still alive.

Master must have woken me in the deepest part of night, the streets were so quiet. The graveyard I left was small, almost cozily surrounded by long roads decorated with cute houses. I tried reading one of the road signs, but the letters were jumbled, and made no sense. It was as if they were written in a language I could no longer read. I didn’t need the signs though, only tried using them as a way of pretending humanity. That distant light, that certainty of direction, made me uneasy. It wasn’t natural for me to know where she was, to know she slept on her bed in a little one bedroom half of a duplex.

Of course, the only thing natural about me was the way the worms were slowly working their way through my intestines, shitting in my dry veins, and eating their way through the last remnants of my soft tissue. I could even feel them squirming behind my eyeballs. Their soft bites into the back of my retinas were...uncomfortable. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t have to. Knowing what it was, that they were there, was a million times worse. I felt it all. Every nibble. Every sliding movement. I had a few beetles too, for nothing compared to the skittering of their legs down my windpipe.

I walked down the center of the street, the movement of my legs coming easily now. Liz wasn’t far, and for that I was thankful. Once she was gone, I would be free. I wasn’t sure how I knew this, but I did. She was why I had returned. Her, and master. Once I pleased master, he’d let me go, let me sink back into the abyss he’d yanked me out of. I tried to think of the beyond he’d taken me from, but I couldn’t. Just like my memories, my past, it was a solid blankness without any give. Heaven or Hell, it didn’t matter. Both had to be better than this. The flies had found me now, and I could not swat them away.

Liz shone like the sun in my mind, she was so close. As I approached her door, I stopped. My mind was working, and it was pleasant to have something else to think about than my multitude of sensations. Could I break through the door? Or should I use a window? She could outrun me, I knew. That meant any warning was bad. I couldn’t smash through a window, nor wail on the door until it gave. What to do?

Staring at the door, I tilted my head to one side, then reached out my hand. The doorknob was smooth, and when I gripped it, I felt my flesh start to slip off the bones of my fingers. I turned it, but it was locked. To the window I went, which had a row of tall bushes in front. Their branches scratched open pustules of my skin. Looking inside, I saw an empty living room. Good. Grabbing the window, I lifted. It might have been hard, but what did a little tearing of muscle matter to me anymore? The lock on the window was old, and it hadn’t been shut fully, only barely catching the side. With a creak, it opened.

I climbed inside.

My landing on her carpet was far from graceful. I hit head first, then rolled onto my back. My scalp shifted, and my hair slid lower, as if I’d messed up a bad wig. Cool air blew across my exposed skull. The feeling was good, except when the flies followed me in and landed atop it.

Liz, I thought. I know where you are, Liz.

Slowly I rose to my feet. My roll had torn open the flesh of my back, and I felt something wet slide down my legs. Pieces of me fell out my dress and to the carpet. I didn’t notice, much. At Liz’s door, I once more grabbed the knob and twisted. It gave, and I pushed it open.

I must have made a noise, for I felt a rumble in my throat. Perhaps I was too excited to be there. I was overwhelmed by her brightness, by the comforting fact that master wanted this, would be happy at my accomplishment. Liz sat up in her bed, and the poor girl’s mouth dropped open at sight of me. It took her a full second before she screamed. It probably took her that long to believe what her eyes saw.

“Oh god, help!” she shrieked.

I took a step closer, and my arms reached for her throat. Master had been very specific.

“Get away!”

Liz flung a pillow at me, then rolled off the opposite side of the bed. I blocked the door, though, and her windows were too small for her to escape through, not in time. Another step, and another, my hands always reaching. I moaned, feeling something akin to pleasure, as my hand brushed her arm. Liz batted me away, but now the stiffness of my joints was working for me. We were about the same size, but she couldn’t shove me, couldn’t overpower me. I was the stronger.

She grabbed a lamp and swung. It hit me in the stomach, and I lost my balance. Teetering forward, my mouth opened, and streams of fluids gushed down my lips and chin. Some of it splashed across Liz’s nightie, and this amused me. I lashed out, catching her wrist as she tried to run past me. She yanked and pulled, but I would not relent. My fingers would not open. Her desperation grew as I pulled her closer. Tear out her throat, master’s words echoed in my head. Tear it out.

He didn’t say how, and I still had most of my teeth.

Liz thrashed and screeched, her hands raking across my body, tearing rotted flesh and spilling worms across her floor. It wouldn’t matter. Nothing could stop me.

And then her arm caught on the leather strap holding the red crystal between my breasts. It tore, and as it fell to the ground, I froze. Memories assaulted me, terrible in their strength. I still held onto Liz, but out of instinct, nothing more. My hunger remained, but the light surrounding her was gone. I opened and closed my mouth as Liz sobbed uncontrollably.

I knew who I was.

I let her go, and she ran. It didn’t bother me. Her name was Liz. She was master’s infatuation, but unlike me, she’d been smart enough to refuse his advances, to know what lurked beneath that charming grin of his.

My lumbering gait took me back to the graveyard, and I knew I’d be far enough away before any police or ambulance arrived. Master was waiting for me, but I knew his name now. He wasn’t master, oh no. He was just Harold.

“Did you kill her?” he asked as I neared. I let out a moan, pushing the soupy air from my lungs into my vocal chords. He frowned. I saw his eyes drop to my chest, saw the horror hit him as he realized the crystal was no longer there. Too late, though. I had his arms, had him in an embrace we had shared for many, many years.

I inhaled again, forcing my hollow lungs to cooperate.

“Hello...husband,” I told him.

I kissed his lips, felt his scream breathe into me. My teeth closed around his tongue, and I bit. Blood dripped down my throat, and I moaned again. I was hungry. So hungry.

A Love Story

2011-10-15T12:53:00.000-05:00

This isn't part of Zombiepalooza, but it's something I wanted to say. This blog isn't meant to be a rant. I'm not writing from an angry place. And it's not a direct reaction to anything. It's just something I've wanted to say for awhile, and I'm finally frustrated enough to say something.

Here it is: I didn't sell a million books by selling a million books.

What I mean by that is everybody keeps talking about how many books I sold and the "phenomenon."I spend more time during interviews talking about sales than I do my actual books. There are so many blogs and tweets and all that talk about numbers and not writing.

The number one question I get is: How did you sell so many books?

Here's the secret: I wrote a book that many people enjoyed.

I did not say I wrote the best book ever written. I did not say that everybody loved it, because some people who read it really hated it. What I did say is that many of the people who read it, liked it. And the people who liked it went on to tell their friends, to blog about it, to tweet about it. People who read it based on friends recommendations went on to like it, and then went on to tell their friends. (And I am so, so grateful to each and every one of those people).

Terri the screenwriter who is adapting Switched, and my current editor at St. Martin's Rose both approached me/agent in early January, before I released Ascend, before I made the USA Today Bestseller list, before I became a story about the numbers I sold.

Both of them found Switched on their own and liked it so much that they wanted to do something with it. Long before I sold a million books.

What I'm trying to say is that in the story about me and my "phenomenal" sales, the part that seems to always get overlooked is the actual books.

It may have been luck that Terri and Rose read Switched, but it wasn't luck that they liked it. It wasn't the $.99 price-tag that compelled them to approach me and Steve. It wasn't even the "inspirational" story about me self-publishing. It wasn't the book cover, either. It was the book.

You may hate my book and think it's total crap. But to ignore the fact that so many people did like it is to deny a major part of this story.

In the end, after all the ways people try to spin my story, it's really just a love story. I loved writing, I wrote a story I loved, readers fell in love with the same characters I did, and I love my readers. That's all there is to it.

Old-Fashioned Zombies (and New-Fangled Ones)

2011-10-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

Today’s Zombiepalooza post comes from J.L. Bryan, author of The Paranormals trilogy (Jenny Pox, Tommy Nightmare, and Alexander Death) and other novels. Fairy Metal Thunder is the first book in his new Songs of Magic series. On Monday (October 17), he begins The Paranormals Blog Tour, where you can win a Kindle Fire, Jenny Pox-themed jewelry, autographed books and more. Watch for a Zombiepalooza giveaway of Jenny Pox, too, later this month.

________________________________________________

Old-Fashioned Zombies (and New-Fangled Ones)

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***

I want to thank Mandy for inviting me back for Zombiepalooza II! I don’t know if anyone actually calls her “Mandy.” I’m just doing that thing where D-list celebrities refer to A-list celebrities by unusual nicknames. (“So, I was having lunch with Tony Hopkins and Marty Scorsese the other day...”) I’ve always wanted to do that.

Which brings us right to tonight’s topic: Old-fashioned zombies versus new-fangled zombies: who would win in a fight? (This topic is totally different from my “slow versus fast zombies” guest post last year.)

This is an obvious subject to me because my Paranormals trilogy has some old-fashioned zombies. By old-fashioned, I mean the traditional legends you would find in Haiti. A zombie master turns people into zombies, raising them from the dead, usually for some manual labor drudgery, like working a plantation (an obvious metaphor for slavery, of course). In the first zombie movie, White Zombie, the zombie master uses zombie labor in his mill.

Those zombies lost a cultural-evolutionary rat race to the teeming apocalyptic zombie horde. The George Romero-style zombie took over the world and ate its brains. Amanda’s Hollowland and Hollowmen feature zombie hordes that behave in this very inconsiderate manner.

So I thought it would be fun to build a stadium, pit a horde of my zombies against a horde of Amanda’s zombies in a colossal public exhibition, and give out free balloons. Because balloons are nice. But apparently we don’t have the budget to do that for this blog post, especially once you add in the balloon and helium costs, so we’ll just imagine what might happen.

At first, my zombies would seem to have the advantage. There is a central mind, the zombie master, directing their actions. On top of that, my zombies can use simple tools, like shovels, picks, and AK-47s. This organization and tool-slinging ability puts them ahead of the brainless brain-eaters.

However, we know how this story ends. The hungry swarm always wins. They inherit the Earth, and no amount of tools or human intelligence can hope to stop them. Because, in the end, when you only have one goal, and that goal is eating brains, a goal which turns others into zombies like you...there’s just nothing that beats that level of persistence, dedication, and single-minded fixation.

Live humans get distracted with thoughts, feelings, and other blah. Zombie masters are only human, and so zombie-master-controlled zombies just don’t have the same intensity of focus as the feeding horde. They can lose purpose and topple over if the zombie master is feeling depressed, sleepy, or dead. And that’s when they get eaten by the swarms of other zombies, who are just hungry, and not subject to remote psychic control.

And that’s how the new swarming zombies beat out the old-fashioned kind.

I still wish we could have had that big zombie fight in the stadium, though. Maybe next Zombiepalooza.

One of Four from David McAfee

2011-10-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

I actually posted this story in the last in last year's Zombiepalooza, but I liked it so much, I asked David McAfee if I could post again. It's a really fantastic story, and I wanted you all to enjoy it.

David McAfee is the author of 33 A.D. and Grubs, a novella that gave me nightmares. For more info about him or his books, please check out his site: mcafeeland.wordpress.com

One of Four - along with fifteen other stories - is included in McAfee's horror anthology, Pound of Flash. It also has bonus material from David Dalglish, Daniel Arenson, and Michael Crane.

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“You know who I am, Father.” It isn’t a question.

The priest looks at me, his youthful eyes brimming with idealistic forgiveness, and nods.

“I know who you claim to be,” he says as he steps past the nurse – a burly bitch named Swanson - and starts to close the door behind him.

“I wouldn’t do that,” Swanson says, holding up her left hand. She casts a meaningful glance at her missing ring finger. The scar is an angry red. “He’s a vicious old bastard.”

Her diamond ring had hurt like hell when it passed through my bowels, but the look on her face had been worth it. Maybe I wouldn’t do shit like that if they’d give me something to eat.

The priest ignores her missing finger. “He won’t harm me,” he says. “He can’t.” With that, he closes the door, while Swanson shakes her head and resumes her duties.

I can’t keep the snarl out of my voice. “Damn right I can’t.” I jerk forward in the bed, but the straps around my bare, sunken chest and arms hold me in place. I know it’s useless. I’ve been trying to break them for years now with nothing to show for it but raw, bleeding skin. They are too strong, especially in my pathetic state. They never feed me in this place, preferring to keep me weak and pliable.

He takes a seat by my bed, his soft white robe settles around him as though it’s made of air. On his finger a hefty gold ring winks in the dim light of my cell. I catch a faint whiff of cologne. I can’t place the brand, but it smells expensive. It probably is. The Catholic Church looks after its own.

I smile, revealing a mouth full of sharpened teeth. I had them filed to points long before the priest was even born. In my emaciated state, I must look like a fleshy skull smiling at him. He blanches, but doesn’t look away.

“They told me about those,” he says. “Do you think you frighten me?”

“Don’t I?”

He shakes his head, then reaches into a pouch at his side. He pulls out a vial of water and a rosary and sets them both on the nightstand. “Are you ready?”

I chuckle. A thick, wet gurgle. It’s all I can manage. “You can’t exorcise me, Father. I’m not a demon.” My belly growls. In the confines of the tiny room it sounds like an angry bear.

“We will see.” He pulls the stopper from the vial and begins to pray. I can’t understand a word of it. Must be Latin. He makes a motion with the vial that looks like a cross, then splashes the water on my face and chest. It’s cold, but that’s it. My skin doesn’t boil or blister, and I don’t scream.

He looks closer, his expression slightly puzzled. Then he reaches down and dips his finger into one of the drops on my chest, swirling it around in a circle.

“Careful, Father,” I say. My belly rumbles again, accentuating my warning.

His eyes shoot from my chest to my face, his disbelief plain to see. His finger raises off my flesh and hovers a few inches away. Almost close enough to bite, but not quite. He is probably thinking of Swanson’s scar.

“It’s true, then,” he whispers.

I nod. “But you already knew that.”

He looks at the vial in his hand. “I had to be sure.”

I nod again. “Of course.”

“We’ve been waiting for you.” His words are slow, deliberate. The fear that escaped him earlier now weighs heavily on every syllable. “How long do we have?”

I shake my head. “You should have come to me sooner.”

“We didn’t know.”

“Yes, you did.”

He closes his eyes and turns away, his face red. Maybe he didn’t know, but his colleagues did. They had plenty of time to fix things, and instead they went on as they always had. Only now, when it’s too late, do they think of me, locked away in their prison. Had they come to me sooner, I could have saved them. Any of my brethren could. But we waited. We wanted to see what they would do.

Now we know.

The earth begins to shake beneath us. His eyes snap open.

“Are the others here, already?” he asks.

“Not yet, but they are coming.”

He nods, tears sparkling in his eyes. He clutches his Bible and his rosary to his chest, and again begins praying in Latin. The only word I recognize is famēs, and only because it’s my name. A few moments later the roof of the building crashes down on him. The weight of the rubble snaps my bonds, and I am able to rise on shaky legs.

I leave the room and walk through the hallways, listening to the screams of people dying around me. Swanson is buried under a pile of debris. Her unblinking eyes stare up toward the ceiling.

The others are indeed coming, just as I told the priest. They have quite a distance to travel, of course. Currently, War is in the Middle East, Pestilence is in Africa, and Death...Death is everywhere.

I step out of the ruined building and look back just as the front, a huge brick and marble facade that sports a gleaming bronze Crucifix, tumbles to the earth. The Crucifix lands on a woman in a black and white habit, who sees me standing nearby and begs for mercy in Portuguese.

Too late, I remind myself.

I raise my thin, bony arms to the sky, waiting for instructions. They are not long in coming.

My name is Famine, and it’s time to go to work.

Scarier Than Monsters... Guestblog from Jason Letts

2011-10-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

A guest post from Jason Letts, author of a new dystopian novel entitled Suspense.

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This one keeps me up at night. Ever since a friend told me about this I can’t start thinking about it without freaking out, and it’s one of those things I feel like people need to know about just to understand what could actually happen to them out in the world.

About a decade ago, a guy and his high-school sweetheart ended up going to different colleges, and after being away from each other for a few weeks he spontaneously decided to get in the car and drive out to see her. It was going to be a great surprise, but it meant driving all night up in the mountains to her little college town.

He ripped a few CD’s, grabbed a Red Bull or two, and went out on his all-night road trip. At about 3am, he was having trouble keeping himself awake. There was still a long ways to go, but he pushed himself to get there. He was out on some back roads in the middle of nowhere when he turned a corner and saw something up ahead in the road. He hit the brakes and stared at the pair of bodies his headlights illuminated.

There were some swerving tire tracks, obviously some kind of hit-and-run. Now two bodies were sprawled across the road ahead of him. Gasping for breath and gripping his steering wheel, he tried to figure out what to do. This was before everybody had cell phones, and he hadn’t seen another car or a town in hours.

The temptation came over him to get out and check on them, drive them somewhere and get some help. But he decided he just wasn’t in a position to do anything. He couldn’t deal with this right now, and maybe he’d flag down the next truck he saw or something. Driving around the bodies was tricky, almost forcing him into some bushes by the side of the road. He took a good long look at the bodies as he passed by and then hit the brakes a dozen yards or so past. It would be wrong to just leave them there.

He scratched his chin as he prepared to get out when he glanced in the rearview mirror to find that the bodies in the road were sitting up.

The guy’s eyes widened when people started coming out of the bushes on both sides of the road. There must’ve been twenty or thirty of them, joining the two people who’d been lying dead until just moments ago. The driver didn’t waste a second. He slammed on the gas pedal and got the hell out of there as fast as his little Honda Civic could take him.

I don’t want to think about what those people would’ve done to that guy if he’d gotten out of the car. It’s hard not to wonder why they were all there, and how everybody must’ve been OK with snatching drivers off the road. To me, it gets at something even scarier than monsters: people in large groups.

Sort of like Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery,” there’s something about groups of normally rational people engaging willfully in violent acts that gets under my skin. How can someone turn a blind eye and just go along with others like that? How does everybody nod and say yes when somebody says something like, “You know what this PTA meeting needs…a human sacrifice!”

Anyway, I don’t want to tell you not to do something to help when you can, because there are times when we do depend on the kindness of strangers. But what I will tell you is to keep your eyes and your wits around you. And be careful. Because you never know what’s hiding behind the bushes.

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I’d like to send a big Thank You to Amanda for generously giving me this space as part of her Zombiepalooza Spectacular! Like many of you, I’m eagerly awaiting the release of Hollowmen. My prediction: Harlow toughens up and spends a little time going rogue.

Jason Letts is an author of YA fiction, most recently Suspense, the first book in a new dystopian trilogy about warring celebrities and the diehard fans who fight for them. You can find out more about him and his books at his website or on Facebook.

Big Hollowland News!

2011-10-11T09:23:00.000-05:00

I'm now going to take a small break from Zombiepalooza to bring you some news. Although, since it's about The Hollows, it's not technically still about zombies, so it still fits in with Zombiepalooza.

Anyway, this press release came out today:

Dynamite is proud to announce that we have reached an agreement with Amanda Hocking and will publish Hollowland comic books in 2012!

Amanda Hocking is an American writer of paranormal romance young-adult fiction. Hocking lives in Austin, Minnesota. Employed as an assisted living worker until 2010, she wrote 17 novels in her spare time. In April 2010, she began self-publishing them as e-books. By March 2011, she had sold over a million copies of nine books and earned two million dollars from sales, something previously unheard of for self-published authors. To date only five other authors have sold over a million digital e-books. In early 2011, Hocking averaged 9,000 book sales each day.

In Hollowland, Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

"It's always been a dream of mine to bring the world of The Hollows to graphic novels," says acclaimed author Amanda Hocking. "I'm so fortunate to be able to partner with an amazing publisher like Dynamite to bring this dream to life."

"It is such a pleasure for Dynamite to be working with Amanda as she knows the world of comics," says Dynamite President and Publisher Nick Barrucci. "Amanda's success shows that hard work and passion pays off and we can't wait to see her incredible energy translated to comics!"

www.dynamite.net

DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT was founded in 2004 and is home to several best-selling comic book titles and properties, including The Boys, Green Hornet, Vampirella, Warlord of Mars, Bionic Man, Game of Thrones and more!

In addition to their critically-acclaimed titles and best selling comics, Dynamite works with some of the most high profile creators in comics and entertainment, including Alex Ross, John Cassaday, Garth Ennis, Michael Avon Oeming, Mel Rubi, Marc Guggenheim, Stephen Sadowski, Mike Carey, Jim Krueger, Greg Pak, Brett Matthews, Matt Wagner and a host of up and coming new talent!

DYNAMITE is consistently ranked in the upper tiers of comic book publishers and several of their titles - including Alex Ross and Jim Krueger's PROJECT SUPERPOWERS - have debuted in the Top Ten lists produced by Diamond Comics Distributors. Several of their titles have also hit The New York Times Best-Sellers list: The Boys, Vampirella Archives, Robert Jordan's New Spring and Wheel of Time graphic novels. In 2005 Diamond awarded the company a GEM award for Best New Publisher and another GEM in 2006 for Comics Publisher of the Year (under 5%). The company has also been nominated for several industry awards, including the prestigious Eisner Award.
I am incredibly excited about this. I love graphic novels, and I really think the action of The Hollows lends itself to the form.

Also, what the press release didn't say is that the graphic novels won't just be an adaptation of Hollowland and Hollowmen, it will be new content. It's going to be new stories, new adventures, a continuation of the novels. The deal has just gone through, so we haven't had a chance to talk about what that means exactly. I've got some ideas for it, but I want to to talk with Dynamita's writers and artists before I tell you anything concretely.

I will be heavily involved in the process, but I'm not sure if I will be directly writing the of the graphic novels. I do have script approval, though, so even if I'm not writing them, I will be able to make changes as necessary. I'd really like to write them, and if I can, I will, but I've got such a busy workload right now, I'm not sure if it will be possible.

Anyway, I'm really excited. As soon as I know more - like who the artist will be and if it will be more serialized comics or a graphic novel - I'll be sure to tell you. But The Hollows will definitely be out in comic form in 2012.

Tough Love from Michael Crane

2011-10-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

Zombiepalooza has a short story today from author Michael Crane, whose fabulous drabbles need to be made into an illustrated paperback. If you're not familiar with his work, check out Lessons, Lesson II, and Lessons III immediately!

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Tough Love

The dumb bitch deserved it, Earl thought to himself as he sat in his recliner, downing his second bottle of beer. Heidi probably thought that he enjoyed beating the living crap out of her on a nightly basis, but what the hell did she know? If she didn’t mouth off, he wouldn’t have to strike her down. She thought she knew the world, but the truth was she didn’t know jack shit. That was one of the many things he could never stand about the woman. This idea that she knew how things were supposed to go until he’d have to remind her otherwise.

Drawing in some air, he looked down at his bruised knuckles. He probably hit her harder than he needed to, although he would never admit it to anybody. Certainly not to Heidi. As he focused on the red and purple that populated his hand, he thought about the night before. A whole lot of shit went wrong. She knew he had a bad day at work, goddammit. His boss was riding his ass, reminding him that he was planning on shit-canning a bunch people by the end of the week. Earl didn’t know if his name was on his list or not, but it made him uneasy.

There was one simple thing that Heidi needed to do, and that was to cook him a decent meal when he came over. That’s all she had to do, and yet she had managed to screw the pooch on that one. When that plate of awful green nothing was set in front of him, there was only one possible response.

“What the fuck is this?”

It didn’t take long for Heidi to get an attitude. Getting all snotty, she said, “I just got home a little bit ago. I didn’t know you wanted to come over tonight and I didn’t have time to cook nothing. Besides, it won’t kill us to eat healthy for a change.”

“Oh, so now I’m a fat ass. Is that it?” He stabbed his fork into the lettuce and grimaced.

“Stop putting words in my mouth. You know I hate when you do that, Earl.”

Earl dropped his fork onto his plate. He began to massage his temples with his eyes closed, trying to calm down. “I told you I had a bad day at work, and this is how you try to cheer me up?”

“I’m sorry you had a bad day, but I think you’re overreacting.”

He pounded his fist into the table. “A fuckin’ salad, Heidi? That’s how you try to make my day better?” He grabbed his plate and hurled it at the wall behind Heidi. She ducked and covered her face with her hands, doing her best to avoid the debris.

“Get out,” she said.

“Not until I get a meal, goddammit. You get your ass back into that there kitchen,” he growled while pointing, “and cook me some dinner!”

“I don’t want you over here when you’re like this. Please,” she pleaded, tears in the corner of her eye. “Please, just leave me be.”

Earl shook his head and got up, knowing that he was going to have to set her straight yet again. She couldn’t have pulled a stunt on a worse night for him. There was a part of him that was afraid of what he was capable of, but then there was the other half that didn’t give a damn if he beat her to a bloody pulp. She was going to learn her lesson. He’d make sure of that. As he walked toward her, he formed fists inside of his jean pockets. Earl made sure he was real close, having his nose almost touching hers.

“Make me,” he said.

That’s when she did something he never would’ve thought possible. Air and saliva left her tiny mouth, hitting Earl directly in the face. At first he was in complete shock, but then he lost it. His fists came flying out of his pockets and began to wail on Heidi. It didn’t matter to him where he struck her so long as his fists were hitting something of hers. She cried and begged him to stop. Even with a mouth full of blood, she couldn’t get him to back off. It was too late for that. Much, much too late, and he was going to make sure that she understood that. By the time he was finished, she was cowering in a corner and sobbing her little eyes out. Blood stained her orange shirt around her shoulders. Before Earl left, he looked down at the floor by her and spat.

That was the last time he saw her. Even though it was only a night ago, it felt like days. As he leaned back in his recliner and placed the wet, cool bottle against his forehead, he felt a moment of regret. Not that he had a problem with putting a woman in her place when she got lippy with him, but he knew he went too far. He could’ve killed her. Her entire face was probably the color of a raisin by now.

Still, she didn’t’ have to push him. Sure, he felt bad about how things ended the other night, but he didn’t forget the fact that it was her fault. If she had cooked him a nice dinner and kept her yap shut, everything would’ve been fine and dandy.

“You gotta learn, Heidi,” he said to himself. “The day you stop mouthin’ off to me, and we’ll be fine like wine.”

That night when he left Heidi’s, he remembered seeing somebody standing on the street. The man was just staring at the house, his mouth hanging open like some goofy kid with mental problems. Earl thought that maybe he was drunk, but why in the hell was he standing out there like that? Earl didn’t’ think to ask at the time. He was too heated to ask the guy what he was up to, and it didn’t occur to him until now how odd it all looked. Was the guy waiting for Heidi? Maybe she was two-timing him.

Earl’s hand tightly gripped his bottle.

Maybe that was why Heidi didn’t have time to prepare a meal for him. He didn’t tell her that he was coming by until right after he got out of work. Hell, he didn’t even think he was going to see her. Just seemed like the thing to do after the crappy day he had. Heidi wasn’t expecting him, that much was for sure. Maybe this guy spotted Earl’s truck and knew that somebody else was over. The man was waiting for him to leave so the two of them could make an even bigger fool out of him.

Just like with the plate of disgusting salad, Earl chucked his bottle, only this time it hit the floor. The bottle didn’t break, however. Only beer spilled onto his vomit green carpet.

“Goddammit!” he screamed. He grabbed his phone and dialed Heidi’s number. He had a few things he wanted to say to her. Well, say wasn’t exactly the right word, but either way he was going to get to the bottom of things.

No answer. Not even a ringtone. Just straight to voicemail.

“Bitch!” he snarled. A picture of Heidi and the strange open-mouthed man screwing began to repeat over and over again in his mind. Her screaming in pleasure while the goofy weirdo was nailing her from behind. Earl clamped onto his ears and closed his eyes, hoping that the sound and vision would go away. When he was finally able to shake it off, Earl stood up and grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter. He slammed the door shut as he left his house and hopped into his truck. He didn’t bother to put on a seatbelt. As soon as the truck started, he floored it. A cloud of dirt and gravel formed as he sped away.

“Heidi, Heidi,” he said, gnashing his teeth as he drove. “You are going to get it. If you’re doing what I think you’re doing, you are going to get it. Mark my words.” His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he got closer and closer to Heidi’s place. Whatever remorse he might’ve felt from the other night was a long and distant memory. The feeling was replaced with absolute rage and hatred. Earl didn’t think it was possible to have so much hate for one single person until that very moment.

When he arrived, he only saw Heidi’s car in front. That would normally be a good sign, except Earl remembered that the guy didn’t appear to have a car when he saw him. Earl rushed out of his truck and when he reached the front door, he began to pound on it with both of his fists.

“Open the door, Heidi! I need to have a word with you!” He kept on pounding. “Open the door, goddammit! If you know what’s good for you, you’ll open the door!”

No answer. After a few more seconds of pounding, Earl cursed to himself and tried the door knob. To his surprise, the door opened. He took a deep breath and then entered, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Heidi? Where the hell are you?” he demanded.

Again, no answer. He surveyed the area to see if there was anything out of place. He noticed that Heidi’s plate of salad from the other night was still on the table. Earl’s broken plate was on the floor where he left it. Not only was Heidi possibly two-timing him, but she was also lazy. So what if she was beaten pretty badly? The woman could’ve at least cleaned up the mess when she recovered. She wasn’t bedridden, dammit.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard moaning coming from the bedroom. Earl’s eyes locked onto the door as he listened. One voice, he couldn’t recognize. It was a low groan. No way did it belong to a woman. When he heard the second groan, he knew that one was from Heidi.

Earl’s shaking hands balled up into fists. His long, dirty fingernails dug into his sweaty palms. Even though he pretty much expected to find Heidi cheating on him, the reality of it all began to hit him. The moans became louder, almost sounding animalistic.

“You cheating bitch!” he spat. He headed for the bedroom door. This time, he had no intention of knocking. As soon as his hand touched the knob, he pushed the door open.

“Caught you in the act, you two-timing—whah?”

Heidi was sitting on the bed, although he wasn’t quite sure if it was really her or not. The person that was presented before him had ugly, pale skin. Her face was all black and blue, and she stared at him with dead eyes. Bits of dark, crusty blood dangled from her stringy, dirty blonde hair.

Earl was completely dumbfounded. Out of any possible scenario that might’ve played out in his mind, what he was witnessing was a gazillion times worse. This wasn’t the woman he’d been dating for the past five months. This thing didn’t even resemble a person. She looked like a hideous creature straight out of a horror movie.

“H-Heidi?” Earl gulped. Sweat began to drip from his forehead and his right eye twitched.

A long and low moan that sounded like the creaking of a heavy door was the only response she gave. Not once did she blink. After the moan, a crooked smile formed on her bloody and broken face.

“Braaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnns,” she moaned.

A figure from behind grabbed onto Earl’s body. A loud moan, this time a male’s entered his eardrums. He tried to break away from the guy’s grasp, but he was too powerful. Before he knew it, Earl felt the top of his ear being bitten into. He screamed in pain as the man’s teeth ripped a piece off. Blood splashed onto his shoulder. The groaning and grunting man forced him down onto the bed. Earl, lying on his stomach, looked up at Heidi. Heidi continued to smile, with her purple tongue licking her chapped lips.

“Heidi! Help me! Please!” he begged. Tears that hadn’t been shed since the death of his father five years ago began to stream down his face. The man was still forcing his weight onto him.

“I’m sorry for everything,” he cried. “I’m sorry I hit you! I’ll do better, I swear! I’ll never lay a hand on you ever again, just help me!”

Heidi leaned forward, her nose now touching his. She opened her mouth and a vile stench poured onto Earl’s face.

“Braaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnnns,” she repeated.

Earl shook his head and begged for his life. He continued to do so even when her teeth began to stab into the top of his skull. Blood gushed down his face and after a couple of agonizing minutes, the screaming and begging ceased.

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For more information on Michael Crane, please visit his blog at authormichaelcrane.blogspot.com

Ultimate Zombie Package Giveaway

2011-10-07T00:00:00.001-05:00

I was originally going to call this the "Halloween Zombie Package" but I changed it to "Ultimate," because it's just that ultimate.

I gathered together a number of zombie items that I felt truly represented the spirit of Zombiepalooza, and I will be giving them away in one ultimate package. What will be included in said ultimate giveaway? Well, I'm glad you asked. Here it is:


One "Brains" 24x36 poster so you have a reminder of what the undead look like


One soundtrack to "28 Days Later" on CD to listen to while you battle zombies

One copy of "Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks in paperback to ensure your survival in the zombie apocalypse

One copy of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" in paperback because even zombies love the classics


One copy of "Breathers" by S. G. Brown in paperback because zombies need love, too


The first book in "The Walking Dead" graphic novels that spawned the hit zombie TV show

Season one of "The Walking Dead" on Bluray

See? I told you it was the Ultimate Zombie Giveaway.

Here's the details about the giveaway itself:
1. All seven items are included in one grand prize. All books listed are paperbacks, because in the event of a zombie apocalypse, there might not be any power to charge your Kindles and nooks. And the season of "The Walking Dead" is on Bluray.
2. The giveaway runs from today until midnight on Friday, October 21, 2011, so I can get it out to you in time for Halloween.
3. To enter: Comment below and with a way to contact you in case you win (email addresses work best).
4. Only one entry per person.
5. Winner will be chosen by Random.org.

Four Book Giveaway!

2011-10-04T00:00:00.002-05:00

Robert Duperre is offering up a pretty fantastic giveaway. One grandprize winner will get four paperbacks, and two runner-ups will win four four ebooks in a format of their choice. So what are these books up for grabs?

An ancient evil, trapped in the ruins of a lost Mayan temple for centuries, has been unleashed. It takes the form of a deadly virus that causes violent insanity in the living and the recently departed to rise and walk. The blight spreads around the globe, throwing the world into chaos and war.

Regular people are hurled into an existence outside their control, left to deal with a terror they aren't prepared to handle. Life becomes a nightmare, and that nightmare is spreading.

THE RIFT is comprised of four books:

The Fall
Dead of Winter (available now)
Death Springs Eternal (January 2012)
The Summer Son (June 2012)

Winter arrives, and with it the Storm. Snow piles up, turning the landscape into a white prison. The survivors of Wrathchild's plague struggle to survive. With loneliness and doubt creeping in, they must choose: stay in isolation with their dwindling resources, or journey south, taking a chance in a realm where the undead walk.

This is the terror facing the characters in Dead of Winter, the sequel to The Fall by Robert J. Duperre. With darkness all around them and the mystery of humanity's unraveling growing deeper each day, they must delve into their reservoir of strength to move forward.

...Three brothers traipse across a post-apocalyptic landscape, encountering unspeakable horrors...
A young boy growing up in suburban hell thinks there might be more to his home town than meets the eye, what with all the children going missing...
...A woman dying of cancer is given a way out, if only she is willing to pay the price...
...The crew of a space station must battle their fears and a strange alien relic when they are isolated from humanity...
These stories and more await inside the pages of The Gate: 13 Dark & Odd Tales, the new compilation by Robert J. Duperre. Also contributing to this collection are the talented Mercedes M. Yardley, David Dalglish, David McAfee, and Daniel Pyle.

In Silas, Ken Lowery is a man at odds with his life. He hates his job, is disappointed in his marriage, and feels resigned to leading a mundane existence.

That all changes when his wife brings home a rambunctious Black Labrador puppy named Silas, who forges a remarkable connection with Ken and begins to heal his inner turmoil. When some neighborhood children start to go missing, he takes it upon himself to protect those around him and is thrust into a surreal world where monsters roam. Not everything is what it seems to be, he soon discovers, including his new best friend.

Now that you know what you're winning, here's how you enter:

1. Leave a comment on this blog with a way to contact you. (Email addresses work best).
2. Only one entry per person.
3. The giveaway runs from now until midnight on October 31, 2011 with the winner announced November 1, 2011.
4. Winners will be chosen by random.org.
5. One first prize one winner will receive the four paperbacks listed above, and two runner-ups will receive four e-versions of the same four books listed above.

Top Ten Horror Movies of All Time

2011-10-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

The first post of Zombiepalooza comes from Robert Duperre, author of The Fall (The Rift Book I), Dead of Winter (The Rift Book II), and Silas. He's also going to be offering a pretty awesome Zombiepalooza giveaway tomorrow. Here's his take on the Top Ten Horror Movies of All Time:

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Horror movies rock...well, at least the well-made ones do. Through the years I’ve immersed myself in the genre so much that sometimes I feel like I need to watch at least one every week. There’s just something about what a good horror flick can make you feel – scared, disgusted, relieved – that draws me in. So right now I’d like to give you all a little taste of my favorite ten horror movies of all time.

Spoiler – you’re not gonna find any slasher flicks here, folks.

#10 – Hellraiser

So what do we have here? Despicable humans? Check. Inter-dimensional demons? Check. A frightened yet strong female protagonist? Check. A storyline involving a creepy puzzle box and a spinning pole covered with sharp hooks and human remains? Check, and check. In other words, even though Clive Barker’s adaptation of his own novella, The Hellbound Heart, doesn’t quite reach the levels of dread and terror achieved in the source material, it’s still a damn fine film…and the perfect sinister date movie, at that. Well, if your date appreciates dismemberment and cannibalism, that is.

#9 – Alien

When I first saw this movie at twelve years old, the chest-burster scene frightened me so bad that I had nightmares for weeks. With the passage of time this particular flick has gotten much less terrifying, but it still has to be appreciated for being the movie that brought the female heroine into vogue, which I’m sure we all appreciate. Also, its subplot involving a group of blue-collar muckers on their way back home, being looked at as expendable by their employers, who only want a buck, resonates quite true in our modern times.

Oh, and the alien itself is freaking awesome.

#8 – An American Werewolf in London

Now this one is an oddity. At first I wasn’t sure whether I should put it on this list, even though I love it. It is strangely more of a comedy than a horror flick, though the horror elements, especially toward the end, really start to take over. The transformation Rick Baker created – when David turns into the werewolf – remains, to me, the greatest in film history. I suppose what I’m saying is that the film is just too good not to be on the list, and who’s saying a terrifying story can’t be humorous, too? And I guess that’s the point. Life’s too short to not laugh at even the most horrific of circumstances sometimes.

#7 – Rosemary’s Baby

I’m not usually a fan of movies that use Satanism and the occult as a plot vehicle. This isn’t because I’m opposed to the use of that particular aspect as a rule, but because, let’s face it, most of the time they’re boring. (The Devil’s Rain, anyone?)

In fact, to some Rosemary’s Baby might also fall into this category of tedious Devil-obsessed filmmaking. But to me, it’s almost perfect. Yes it moves slow (as many films made in the seventies tend to be), but that gradual buildup to the big reveal at the end is a practice in patience, letting the plot unwind as the tension and mystery mounts. What could have been hokey ended up as a gritty and chilling tale that doesn’t utilize gore or violence to build its terror, but atmosphere. And Mia Farrow is absolutely stunning as the tragic Rosemary Woodhouse, a woman who suffers the grandest injustice imaginable – being raped by the devil. And yeah, there’s more than a little metaphor to be found there, as well.

#6 – Videodrome

From one extreme to another, coming to a film that uses violence, gore, and graphic images of self-mutilation as its major storytelling vehicles. Cronenberg’s paranoid opus about the onset of the television culture, censorship, and mind control is a frightening – and disgusting – experience. James Woods is fantastic as the conflicted Max Renn, and Debby Harry is alluring, sexual, and oddly sinister as Nicki Brand, a woman who may or may not end up existing wholly in Max’s head. In fact, plots influenced by concepts from this film can be seen much later, in movies like 8MM, Shocker, The Ring (Ringu), and Cronenberg’s own eXistenZ.

#5 – Frailty

My first thought when I saw the trailer for this movie was, Thanks but no thanks. Bill Paxton and Matthew McConaughey carrying the day? The overactor and the pretty surfer boy, in one movie, and a movie that’s supposed to be genuinely scary, too? I don’t think so.

Eventually I relented, though, and I’m glad I did – obviously, since Frailty is number five on my list. It’s a deeply haunting, depressing, and truly freaking menacing tale of a father who kills people, believing it to be God’s Work, and indoctrinates his sons into his craziness. Paxton reels himself in for once as the father, and McConaughey is refreshingly understated as his son, all growed up. The tone is extremely bleak, and sad. And the twist at the end I completely didn’t see coming, which made me love it all the more.

#4 – The Thing

A bunch of guys stationed at an Antarctic research facility run across an alien being. We all know the plot (at least we should), and we’ll just ignore the fact that, even though this is a scientific expedition, there seems to be only 2 scientists among the 12 team members. These are unimportant facts, people. We want aliens, we want blood, and we want terror…with maybe some uncomfortable situations added in.

Well, that’s what we got.

Though similar to Alien in certain regards, including the fact that the interplay between the characters gets much more screen time than the respective monsters, Carpenter did a fantastic job in this movie of ratcheting up the tension through paranoia. Since the thing can assimilate any living organism, no one knows who is human and who isn’t. The silent moments, such as when Kurt Russell’s McCready goes down the line, testing his compatriots’ bood samples, speaks volumes. There are quite a few instances where a simple look or shake of the head is used in place of dialogue, and it really, really works. Not only that, but the monster’s appearance, once we do see it, is so disgusting and visceral that it seems to take all the anxiety built up through the rest of the movie and unload it in one final, ghastly wallop.

#3 – The Descent

I’ll be honest with you here – The Descent was one of those movies that I had to shut off in the middle, just to catch my breath. It follows the travails of six adventure-seeking female friends as they have to battle demons, both real and personal, when a spelunking escapade goes horribly wrong.

What sets this film apart for me, and makes it beyond great, is that it’s really two movies in one. The first half is pure rigidity, watching as these girls become sealed into the claustrophobic underground cavern they’re exploring. The tension is real-life stuff, and my heart was racing just watching it. And you know what? This actually enhances the second half of the movie, when the nasties show up and the body count grows. If it had started with the creepy crawlies, without first setting us up for the fall with the brilliant opening sequences, it could have ended up as a rather sucky film. But it doesn’t. In fact, I’m tempted to put this on my All Time movie list, not just horror. It’s that good. Full of shocks, angst, and offering a refreshing look at the nature of female relationships, it’s pretty much the perfect movie.

#2 – Jacob’s Ladder

Most great art has something to say, even if that something is left to the viewer’s imagination. And that’s what Jacob’s Ladder embodies – the ambiguity of abstract art, replete with frightening images and personal angst. Tim Robbins does a bang-up job, and the mystery of the world he exists in never makes itself known until the end – and even then, what happens leading up to that point of the tale is open to interpretation. I can think of no greater praise for a film than the fact it’s remained viable ever since the day I first watched it, and each subsequent viewing brings an even fresher perspective. That makes this more than a horror movie, and puts it in the realm of simply great moviemaking, period.

#1 – Dawn of the Dead

Ah, the pinnacle of my movie-watching experience. The reason I write what I write, the director who changed my life, the film that got me obsessed with zombies and directly led to my first novel.

For myself, there’s never been a movie more inspirational than this. The entire storyline is one huge metaphor, with bunches of smaller metaphors scattered throughout. The unknown cast (never seen them before, nor since) lends a sort of believability to the film, as they pretty much look and act like anyone we’ve ever met. Yes, the look is a bit dated, but in a way that adds to its charm. It’s a reflection of where we were as a society in the late seventies, which I love. Seeing our survivors running past Foxmoor Casuals only serves as a reminder of how fickle and temporary our consumer society can be. And when the bikers arrive and the intestines start flowing? Heavy, man. Just freaking heavy.

Number one in my book. All-time, regardless of genre. Without a doubt.

What do you all think?

Second Annual Zombiepalooza

2011-10-02T18:32:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the year again, folks. There's a crisp chill to the air. The leaves are changing colors. The stores are filled with slutty costumes. And the undead are roaming the Earth.

Yes, it's Zombiepalooza! Last year I did 31 posts, and that ended up being a bit much. So this year I trimmed it down a bit, but there's still plenty of great posts and awesome of giveaways. It's kicking off tomorrow with a guestpost from Robert Duperre with a lost of the greatest horror movies to help you plan this holiday season's viewing.

I'll also have some Hollowmen info as the month goes on, which I know a lot of you are excited about. However, Hollowmen will NOT be out this month. It won't be out until November, and I'm not sure of the exact day.

Meanwhile, you can keep track of the cool Zombiepalooza stuff going on this month thanks with the tab at the top.

But for right now, here's Jonathan Coulton's "Re: Your Brains" to get you in the mood:

"I can dance to anything you wanna sing"

2011-09-29T06:06:00.000-05:00

I have good news! The release date for the St. Martin's edition of Switched has been bumped up from January 24th to January 3rd! That's a whole three weeks earlier!

Word on the street is that the reasoning for this is because a major retailer wanted to give Switched a big push, and they didn't want it so close to the Hunger Games film release, so Switched doesn't get eclipsed by all you Hunger Games fanatics.

And me, I'm excited about it because I won't have to wait so long for you guys to read the books. I'm on pins and needles waiting for you all to check out the three brand new short stories and a couple choice extended scenes in each of the books.

Onto the second bit of good news - OMFG! Have you checked out blink 182's new album "Neighborhoods?" It's crazy awesome.

I'll admit to being at first skeptical that blink would ever come out with a new album, and then afraid that it wouldn't be any good. But it totally picked up where their last album left off 8 years ago, and it exploded into something awesome and better. They managed to combine my favorite parts of both Mark and Tom's side projects - (+44) and Angels and Airwaves, respectively - into their new music but still keep it sounding uniquely blink.

If you haven't bought the album yet, go buy the deluxe version. It's completely worth for the bonus track "Fighting with Gravity," which I am ridiculously in love with.

Meanwhile, I've been reading Auschwitz: A Doctor's Eyewitness Account by Dr. Miklos Nyiszli, and it's very interesting. I want to start a book club to talk about because none of my real life friends have read it. After that, I plan on reading Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil by Hannah Arendt. It's gotten some flack over the years, but I think it'd still be a worthwhile read. So if you want to get in on the book club, that's what's next.

Also, I'm not taking a vote on what we read for this book club. I'm just picking things that I feel like reading, and asking you to join me. You don't have to. But if you want to, I'd like it. Right now I'm going through a WWII phase. It happens.

I'm congruently re-reading Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut along with Auschwitz, because it's such a fabulous book. But reading Mother Night along with actual accounts of what happened in WWII really adds a whole new layer to the book. I'd highly recommend it.

In conclusion: Switched out January 3, 2012! Go buy blink 182's Neighborhoods (Deluxe Edition)! And read Auschwitz if you want to join my unofficial book club!

Extra Fun Stuff

2011-09-26T23:44:00.000-05:00

I do have some extra fun stuff that I get to tell you. The first one is: Nike MAG. The second one is: book cover.

So let's start with the Nike MAG. As you may know, in the hit film Back to the Future II (a film I am mildly obsessed with), Marty McFly wears a pair of super awesome Nike MAGs in the year 2015. Well, this year, Nike actually made 1,510 pairs and auctioned them off on eBay with all the proceeds going to benefit the Michael J. Fox Foundation

Here's a video about it:

I was fortunate enough to get a pair, and they arrived in the mail today! I couldn't be more excited! Thank you to Nike and Michael J. Fox for doing this! :)

Here just a few of the 800 pictures I took of them:

The rad label that was on the box it shipped in.

The shoebox.

The shoes!

Nike MAG!

The Nike MAG with my Back to the Future II Delorean. (I had the Delorean prior to getting the shoes. It did not come with it)

Onto the second part of the good news. I got the go ahead to announce who's doing the book covers for my upcoming book Wake (coming Fall 2012 with St. Martin's). It's James Porto!

For those of you unfamiliar with him, he's an amazing photographer, and he honestly is my favorite photographer ever. I've been in love with his work since I was sixteen.

Here is the very first picture I saw of his. I actually tore out of an artbook in high school (sorry, Mr. Loeschen), because I loved the picture so much. This was eleven years ago, and I still have the picture, because I think it's so amazing.

And of course, James Porto did the cover for Hush, Hush, which is really luscious.

He doesn't only do winged people, though, which is good because the cover for Wake has no wings and the book contains no angels. I've seen the preliminary shots for the cover, and they are BEAUTIFUL. I can't wait to see what they look when he's finished, and I definitely can't wait until I can show you guys.

Some Hollowmen Stuff (Including Cover Reveal)

2011-09-22T01:34:00.002-05:00

Hollowmen isn't done yet. My goal is to finish it next week and get out to the editor right after that. Then hopefully I can get it out sometime in November. That's the plan right now, but of course, things are subject to change.

With that in mind, here are three things about Hollowmen that I can share:

1. The opening line. I'll probably have the first chapter up once I'm finished with my book and gone over my first cursory edits before sending it off to the real editor. But right now, I can definitely share the opening line.

I was dying. Daniels knew it, and I knew it.

2. The soundtrack. Which I spent way more time on than I should. I made the playlist on Youtube since they had all the songs I wanted, particularly Motion City Soundtrack "Disappear" and People on Planes "Last Man Standing," which were both necessary. (And it is a pretty awesome soundtrack.) You can check out the soundtrack: here.

3. The cover. It's once again by the fabulous Claudia Mckinney at Phatpuppyart.com who did the cover for Hollowland, as well as Virtue.

FYI: I know you can't see really the words above the title. I think I might remove them for the e-version and only use it on the print version. Yep. That's what I think.

How Can I Forget

2011-09-20T17:18:00.001-05:00

Today some nice people took my picture for a Spanish magazine. And what I was reminder of today, for the millionth time, is that I don't like having my picture taken. I don't mind pictures of me. But the act of pictures being taken makes awkward and self-conscious and unable to make a natural facial expression to save my soul.

A picture of me that I didn't hate having taken. Photo by my friend Valerie.

I'm getting a lot of questions about the sequel to Hollowland, entitled Hollowmen. Here's the answer: I'm working on it now, but its taken me much longer than I had scheduled in my mind for the amount of time it should take to write. (In my mind, it was supposed to be finished by September 1st and to the editor by September 2nd. It's not yet finished, and it's September 20th.)

So what does this mean? Not a lot, actually. I was originally hoping for an October release, but I'm pretty sure that won't be feasible. Sometime before the end of 2011, though. That should happen.

I just forgot how hard Hollowland was to write. And it was very hard. I remember a lot of days sitting in my old office, which was bitterly cold in November 2009, and listening to "Disappear" by Motion City Soundtrack and "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga on repeat... and that's about all I did most of the time.

No book in the history of my book writing career has been as difficult for me to write as Hollowland. It should not come as a shock to me the sequel is as equally difficult to write. But for some reason it has been a shock. Possibly because I'm an idiot.

At any rate... I'm playing around with a couple ideas to make this easier for me. (One of them involves chaining myself to a desk).

Also, check out the Spanish version of My Blood Approves - Instinto (Lazos de Sangre #1), which Google translate tells me means Instinct (Blood Ties #1). Here's the Facebook Fanpage where you can like it: here.

And just the other day, the interwebs reminded me that I loved The Matches. They're music is fun, and they always reminded me of the old British sitcom The Young Ones. Are The Matches British? They should be.

For your enjoyment, here's a video from them:

2011-09-19T07:33:00.001-05:00

The world is filled with random, cruel acts of violence and death. Our time here is so short and often, so painful. So, to counteract this even the slightest bit, please be nice to someone today. Do something kind simply because you can.

Countdown for Switched!

2011-09-19T01:33:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to get pretty excited about the release of Switched. So excited, I made this countdown:

So far, I'm really enjoying the traditional process. I was pretty transparent about my experiences with self-publishing, and I have no reason to not do the same with traditional process.

Some things I especially like: My editor. Also: The multiple copy-editors that go over my books to make sure they are error free, and the marketing time at St. Martin's that is working on many, many fancy things for when my books are released.

My editor is really great. When I went into this, I'll admit I was nervous. I'd heard all sorts of horror stories about editors wanting to slash and change everything and basically mutilating the original work. I've had none of that experience. While Rose does suggest changes, they're only to support the overall vision of the book and make it stronger. There has been no slashing or mutilation, which I think is good.

We talked a lot about the Trilogy before she started editing and how I wanted that to go. I said that I didn't want there to be too much editing, because the books had already been released. My goal was to make the changes subtle, so a reader re-reading the books wouldn't be able to pinpoint exactly what was different, but they were left feeling more satisfied with things more clarified.

I was a bit more nervous with Wake, which is the first book in the Watersong series that is coming out next year. It hadn't been released, so Rose was free to slash and cut, if she wanted to. But she didn't. The edits she suggested were smart, clean, and simple. It still stayed true to exactly how I wanted the book. She only suggested things that made it stronger and better, which is exactly what an editor should do.

On the subject of Wake, I've been actively involved in every process of the book so far. Since it's still a long way from being released, that's basically just the cover. We talked about what I envisioned as the cover and picked through images that represented it. Then I picked out the models for the cover, and I even picked out their clothes.

I did not pick the photographer, but it acutally turned out to be my favorite photographer doing the cover photoshoot. I was so excited I actually shouted when I read they were doing it. (For comparison, this would be like if Christopher Nolan directed my book trailers.)

Plus, they're planning a crazy amount of publicity for when the Trylle Trilogy is released. Something I'm excited about is that Switched is having a one-day laydown. I didn't know what it was before I found I was going to have one. But now I've found out, and I'm excited about it.

I guess to be honest the biggest thing I'm enjoying about all of this is that there really is a huge relief off my shoulders. I send the book to them, give them notes, answer questions, and they take care of everything else. I just get to sit in my house and watch reruns of Frasier while they make my book awesome.

(And honestly, it's freeing up a lot more time to write. I have several ideas for new books and serieses that I think I'll finally have time to work on next year.)

I'm hoping to self-publish another book soon-ish, and when I think about all the work I have to do for that, it stresses me out. I have to edit it a ton, and I know it will still have errors, which frustrates me so much I want to rip out all my hair. I have to format it, and there's a good chance it will still turn out wonky on a page or two. I have to do the cover, which means getting the title and lettering just right, and that always gives me a headache. Plus about a hundred other little things that don't seem like much but add up to being a whole lot.

That's not say that I don't enjoy self-publishing and there isn't something gratifying about the work. Because there is. But anybody that says "self-publishing is easy" is a liar, and you should immediately punch them in the face for being such a liar.

But regardless of where the future takes me, I'm happy with what I've done so far, because it's gotten me where I am now. And I'm tickled pink with where things are now, and crazy excited about the things to come.

Help Please: UPDATED

2011-09-15T19:44:00.002-05:00

You guys, I need your help with something. I can't tell you why yet. But I'm having trouble picking a name. I've narrowed the list down to the names I like best, and I'd like it if you could pick what names you like the most. So... yep. Please vote and let me know what you think!

UPDATE: To help you all make your decision, I'm just going to clarify that the name is NOT for a leading man. So it need not be the "sexiest" choice.

What I've Been Up To

2011-09-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

It's been quite awhile since I last posted a blog, but for good reason. My good friend Pete got married last Sunday, and I was in the wedding. I also had friends staying with me throughout the week, and it was a very busy, very fun time.

You may remember my friend Pete from the cover of a book I wrote.

This is her on her loveliest of lovely days (She's the one in the wedding dress):

Here are all my friends, some visiting from out of state, some from out of town, and even some from out of country, together again, celebrating our togetherness:

And here are some shoes I bought:

All the proceeds go to Michael J. Fox's foundation, so it's okay that I spent too much money on the Nike MAG. Because I'm also saving Michael J. Fox's life. And whenever I think about him being sick, I cry.

In the meantime, I'm writing things and editing things. So all around it's been a very busy time in my household. Busy, but good.

OH! And I got my Halloween costume. Me and Eric doing a theme. This year it's Disney villains. I'm the Queen of Hearts, he's the Cheshire Cat (who according to the Monopoly Disney Villains Edition is technically a villain), my dog is being Captain Hook, and my cat Squeak, who is my dog's best friend, is been Captian Hook's sidekick, Smee. So it's going to be loads of fun for Halloween at my house.

But that's a really long time away. Which is good, because I have a ton of things to do before then.

Toughest Creatures - guest post from Daniel Arenson

2011-08-30T21:04:00.002-05:00

Here's a guest post from Daniel Arenson, author of the Song of Dragons series. The first two books - Blood of Requiem and Tears of Requiem - are available now for ereaders or in paperback. For more info, please check out his website - www.danielarenson.com

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Song of Dragons is a fantasy series about one of the toughest creatures around. But besides dragons, what are the other toughest creatures out there?

10. Fireys (Labyrinth)

The Fireys are creatures from the fantasy film Labyrinth. Lanky beasts with flaming red pelts, they enjoy removing their limbs and heads and tossing them around. The Fireys enjoy pulling off humans' heads too, not understanding that our heads don't detach and reattach like theirs.

9. R.O.U.S.s (The Princess Bride)

Rodents Of Unusual Size from the 80s film The Princess Bride. They're nasty creatures who live in fire swamps. One savaged and nearly killed Westly while Princess Buttercup wrung her hands.

8. Skeksis (The Dark Crystal)

Mmmmm MMMMmmmm. The Skeksis are villanious creatures who killed most of the Gelflings. They're not quite birds. They're not quite reptiles. They're definitely some of the ugliest Muppets around.

7. Dementors (Harry Potter)

They dress in black. They suck all joy and hope from everyone around them. If you misbehave, they'll drag you off to prison. No, they're not IRS agents -- they're Dementors. These are possibly the foulest creatures in the world of Harry Potter. They'd rank higher on the list, were it not for their Achilles' heel; a simple Patronus Charm sends them fleeing.

6. Formics AKA The Buggers (Ender's Game)

Huge, alien insects are hardly original in science fiction. They exist everywhere, from Heinlein's Starship Troppers to Futurama. But they're rarely as effective as in Ender's Game. They almost destroyed the Earth, and they inspired a string of sequels.

5. Beholders (Dungeons and Dragons)

A Beholder resembles a floating orb of flesh with a large mouth, a single central eye, and lots of smaller eyestalks on top. Most D&D creatures -- goblins, dragons, elves, orcs, and the like -- are based on folklore or literature. The Beholder is an original D&D invention, and one of the meanest creatures in the game.

4. The Others AKA White walkers (A Song of Ice and Fire)

They're the reason for the Wall. These undead creatures from the north live in snow and ice. If they kill you, you become one of them. After five books in A Song of Ice and Fire, we still haven't seen too much of them... but when they do appear, they're creepy.

3. Aliens (Alien series)

Game over, man. Arguably the toughest, ugliest, creepiest creatures in science fiction.

2. Ringwraiths (Lord of the Rings)

Even Led Zeppelin sang about them. The Ringwraiths are among the most dangerous creatures in Middle Earth, and in all of fantasy literature.

1. The Gorgs (Fraggle Rock)

These huge, shaggy creatures are the rulers of the universe. They are the terror of Fraggles and defendors of raddishes. We bet they can defeat any other creature on this list. The Gorgs top the list for toughest creature.

_______________________________________

Excellent list, Daniel - with one notable exception. Where's the thing with the hands?

Enough Already

2011-08-26T00:18:00.001-05:00

We have become a society of bullies.

The magazines, the television shows, the twitter, the youtube - so much of it is about making fun of somebody else. Most of the time, it's celebrities, and we all seem to think that's okay because celebrities aren't people. If you're famous, it's automatically assumed that you're made out of the same material as Barbie, so no matter what is said about you, it can't hurt.

I am so sick of making people famous just so we can hate them. This whole thing with the Jersey Shore and the Kardishians. People never say anything nice about them, bitch about them being famous, and then keep watching the shows to keep them famous. It's like we've been addicted to looking down on people.

(Side note: I do watch the Jersey Shore. But I watch it because I like Jenni, Snooki, Pauly, and Vinny. I think they seem like nice people, and Pauly is really funny).

Making fun of people has become a part of our culture, and I'm not expecting to change that. But I am sincerely asking that everybody stop with the kids - and I mean all kids, from Justin Bieber to Rebecca Black.

I just this really inspired post by Jensen Karp, who is a generally very funny person which is what made this piece so moving. I urge you all to check it out: Why My Daughter Will Never Have a Webcam: The Jessi Slaughter Story. (You should also follow him on the Twitter, because he really is hilarious).

But this is something that's been on my mind for awhile. I actually wasn't familiar with the whole Jessi Slaughter debacle until I read that post by Jensen, but I'm getting so sick of the way people talk about kids.

Take Rebecca Black. She's thirteen years old. I want you to remember your thirteen-year-old self and how most of you would be thrilled to have a recording contract and also probably not be world weary enough to realize how terrible the song was that you were recording. You didn't write it or produce it, and you don't know enough about the music industry or even music in general to know that this wasn't going to make you the next Miley Cyrus.

She was vilified in a way that is totally inappropriate and completely unjustifiable. She is a kid who dreamed of being a singer and sang a crappy song. She did not kill a million Jews. She is not responsible for the recession. She didn't step on a puppy. She sang a song.

I haven't gotten 1/1000th of hate mail she's gotten, and I'm an adult, and I find it rough sometimes. I cannot imagine what that must be like for a child.

Really, honestly, Jensen said everything better than I did. So read his article.

But I beg of you, when it comes to kids, enough already. I don't care if they're in the public eye or not - most of them don't even realize what that means. They're just kids doing stupid stuff. And nobody deserves to be ridiculed, humiliated, and judged like that just for being an awkward adolescent.

Is it the Books?

2011-08-22T04:51:00.003-05:00

I read this blog the other day: The Problem Isn't the Books

I really think you should read it, mostly because it's interesting, but also because I don't want to rehash it. The main bullet points are this:

A NY Times article came out basically saying that teenage boys aren't reading books anymore, and they (the author of said article) think it's because of how few books are marketed toward teenage boys.

The blog I linked to is a rebuttle to that, but what they're really rebutting is this quote:

“We need more good works of realistic fiction, nonfiction, graphic novels, on- or offline, that invite boys to reflect on what kinds of men they want to become.”

The blog author is Sandra Mitchell, an author of several YA novels. (Full disclosure: I was not familiar with her or her work before reading this blog, which I discovered via a tweet).

Sandra makes the counterpoint that these books already exist - they simply have a female protagonist.

Look, you really need to go read the whole article, so I don't have to copy and paste the whole thing. Go read the blog. Hurry. Go.

Before I go any further, I want to clarify a point:

"News flash: the only markets in which women dominate literature are romance and YA. All the rest of it is predominately male and male-oriented. Somehow, though, James Patterson and John Grisham still manage to be bestsellers– because women are reading their novels."

She's referring to women characters. Women read far more books than men, in all markets. According to my brief internet research, in fiction books, men are 20% of the reading population. So the fact that boys are reading less isn't just a teenage problem - males in general don't read as much.

I find this blog and this whole idea really interesting. I don't want to turn this into a marketing debate, though - where it becomes "market books to boys and they will read them" vs "we don't market books to boys because they won't read them either way so we market to the readers we have - girls."

What I find interesting is the valid points that Sandra made. Here are some of my favorite things: Batman. Fight Club. Star Wars. Bret Easton Ellis. Stephen King. Zombies. American Psycho. Goodfellas. Documentaries about WWII. Pulp Fiction.

I genuinely enjoy all of those things, and not one of them is marketed towards ladies. In fact, some of them - like Fight Club and American Psycho - I would say were marketed specifically against ladies. But I managed to find them and enjoy them just the same. And I got absolutely no flack from my lady friends for liking them.

In turn, I love When Harry Met Sally, the Vampire Academy series, Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, Jane Austen, Lifetime movies, and musicals. And I think that boys do like those things, but most of them aren't comfortable with admitting it, especially if they're straight. Because they would get flack for it.

That's the point that I really find interesting. It's something I've been thinking about for awhile but hadn't found the right words for, but Sandra said it perfectly: "Male is neutral, female is specific."

Anyone can like Batman. Girls and gay guys can like Sex and the City.

I don't know what this means, exactly, or what the answer to the problem is. Why teenage boys aren't reading is actually a multifacted problem, and this answer isn't as simple as changing the cover of a book. But Jo Rowling had to go by J. K. Rowling because the publisher didn't think boys would read a book written by a girl.

What does this say about society? I don't know. I am not a feminist. I find the term annoying. To me, saying I'm a feminist sounds like I'm saying I'm pro-female, which is essentially anti-male, and I'm not. Some of my favorite people are boys.

But I am for equality, and I do think it's a shame that predominantly male interests are held in higher regard than predominately female interests.

Is there a solution to any of this? I don't know. I'm just saying that I find the conversation interesting. And some of it disheartening. And whether we come up with an answer or not, its a good conversation to be having.

We Just Decided to Go

2011-08-19T04:39:00.000-05:00

Earlier today, Wil Wheaton posted this pic on twitter:

I'd never heard it before, but now I'm totally in love with it.

I think so many people take for granted that we went to the moon, especially my generation and the ones following. I was born 15 years after we landed on the moon, and 8 years after Star Wars came out. So by that time, adventures in space already felt somewhat commonplace.

With all the CGI and special effects, all the fake outerspace, we've forgotten that we've really been there. We didn't just make it up. We were there.

People stared up at the stars for centuries, making up stories, monitoring time, imagining all the grand adventures that go on up there. And we went there, after centuries of mankind dreaming about it.

The impact of that had been lost on me until today. I saw this really awesome movie about the Hubble telescope in the omnitheater a few months back, but in a way, these are things I've been seeing my whole life, either in text books or in summer blockbusters.

I forgot how totally fricking insane is that we traveled thousands of miles in outer space, in an atmosphere we can't even breathe, to a giant lifeless rock floating in the sky.

Not only does it make everything I've ever done seem really inconsequential, it reminds me that everything is possible. We hold the power to shape our lives, our dreams, our worlds to be whatever we want them to be - no matter how far fetched they may seem.

The point is we went to the moon because we decided to go there. We worked hard to make it a reality. If we can do that, then what's stop us from doing anything else? The biggest obstacle between a man and his dream is himself.

I don't know. I just feel really re-energized and inspired by that. The simplicity and almost obviousness of Jim Lovell's quote. "We just decided to go." So I thought I'd shared it with you.

Book Covers!!!! (plus some other fun news)

2011-08-17T18:16:00.000-05:00

The new covers for the Trylle Trilogy were revealed on USAToday.com! Their whole piece is up: here.

And in case you don't want to click that link, here are the covers:

Coming January 24, 2012

Coming February 28, 2012

Coming April 24, 2012

Aren't they fancy? I love them! ARCs should be going out for Switched soon, but it won't be in stores until January 24, 2012. There's going to be a ton of stuff going on in January to promote it, too - all of which I'm incredibly excited for.

AND I have another announcement about the books. Readers are always telling me how they want me to continue the series - and while I have no plans to do that - I do like new content. So for fans of the series, I wanted to give them a little something extra. Each of the books will contain a never-before-seen short story set in the world of the Trylle.

I don't want to give away too much about the stories except that each is set in the time frame the book takes place. The first short story is set during the time that Switched takes place, and so on. I will also say this: Both the short story for Switched and Torn do not take place from Wendy's POV.

But anything else, I don't want to say. We're trying to keep it a surprise. The short stories aren't even going to go out in the ARCs.

In other fun news - I'm picking out the models for the covers of Wake. It's neat, and it makes me feel fancy that I get to look at models portfolios. That cover probably won't be released for quite awhile, I imagine, since Wake isn't set to come out until fall 2012.

And I also wanted to thank everybody for their input on my new turtle, Jasper Tortuga. It was very helpful. I have him set up in a ten gallon tank with water and a floating land barge. He also has a filter and a heat lamp.

I ordered him new food and a UV light, but right now, he's eating the food I got at Walmart fine. I just made sure to get more enriched food for hatchlings, since he needs more stuff because he's going to be doing so much growing.

He hides every time I walk by his aquarium, but the turtle books said that's a good sign. It means he's alert and active. So he's doing good, even if he hates me.

Meet Jasper!

2011-08-12T00:21:00.000-05:00

Today, I went to our county fair. They had a game where you could win live turtles, live iguanas, and live hermit crabs. I still find this concept weird that you can win animals that require specialized cages and lighting. It would make more sense to win a puppy or kitten, since most homes are already equipped for them.

In reality, I don't agree with the practice of the animals as prizes. But that's another story for another day. The long and the short of it is - I'm a sucker for animals of any kind, and I always think I should adopt everything so I can be certain it's taken care of. The fact that I walked away with only one turtle and not a whole slew of reptiles shows an extreme level of self restraint on my part.

Anyway - I digress. Meet Jasper - the newest edition to my family:


The picture's a bit blurry, but rest assured, Jasper's face is perfectly clear in real life.


That's Jasper running away from a Dixie cup. He's insanely fast. I'm starting to think the Tortoise and the Hare was a total lie.

From what I can tell, Jasper is a red eared slider. I'm not sure of his age, but he's small enough to easily fit in a Dixie cup. (I didn't put him in one. I just put him next to one for a size comparison.).

There's a chance that Jasper isn't a boy, but I don't know how to tell the difference, and I figure that Jasper won't care if I refer to him as a "he" even if he's a she, as long as I take proper care of him and give him food and lots of clean water to swim around in.

I've never had a turtle before. I've had iguanas and frogs and toads, but never a turtle. This didn't occur to me until I got home, and I begun to panic that I would somehow kill him.

Jasper's currently set up in a ten-gallon tank that has water about half way up and a resting rock thing designed for turtles such as himself to hang out on. He also has a heat lamp and turtle food that I bought at Walmart. Walmart was the only store open that sells turtle food after I got Jasper, but tomorrow, I'll go to the pet store to see what else the recommend.

My aunt has three turtles, so I asked her how to take care of them. She said that she feeds her turtles minnows sometimes, but I think Jasper might be a bit too small for that right now. Unless minnows are smaller than what I think they are. She also said she feeds them greens (I think she said lettuce).

I also ordered some books on turtles. And I expect I'll talk to my aunt more about how not to kill Jasper and keep him happy.

The point is - Jasper is very, very cute. He might be the cutest thing I've ever seen. I know some things about turtles - like that have salmonella and they need a habitat with land and water. But if any experienced turtle owners have tips, feel free to throw them my way.

The Best of Us Can Find Happiness in Misery

2011-08-10T01:20:00.000-05:00

Quick Reminder

2011-08-05T15:42:00.001-05:00

Just a quick reminder, folks: I'm unpublishing Torn and Ascend tonight at midnight (Central time), and they go down almost immediately. So this is your last chance to buy them until February and April 2012, respectively.

If you miss them today, it's not that big of a deal, because they will be out in a few months, which a much shorter amount of time then George R. R. Martin fans have to wait for the next book to come out. So comparitively, it's not big thing.

Plus, the new editions of the Trylle Trilogy coming out with St. Martin's in early 2012 have a little something extra with them that I think fans of the series will dig. I'll explain more about that next week.

Sometime next week, there should be a big cover reveal for all three books. It was going to be Monday, but we're doing some last minute cover changes, so it might be at the end of next week or possibly the week after. I will let you know as soon as I get the exact date. But trust me, the covers are worth the wait.

For those of you wondering why I've unpublished the Trylle Trilogy, please read these blogs, which explain it all:

And Yet Another Announcement (from May 5, 2011)
Good News, Everyone (from July 26, 2011)
A Bit More on My Decision... (from July 28, 2011)

In conclusion: I'm sorry for any inconvenience this has caused any of you, and I appreciate those of you that bear with me through this transition.

But the fact is: I'm really excited. Not just about what this all means for the books, but what's going on for you, the readers. I literally cannot wait for you guys to see what we have up our sleeves. I'm going to start revealing a bit more next week, but until you guys get the books in your hands next year, I'm going to be sitting on pins and needles.

And I'm leaving you with this awesome song that I'm sorta of obsessed with right now:

EDIT: Based on my previous experience with unpublishing Switched last week, Torn and Ascend will NOT disappear from your Kindle or nook if you've already purchased them. (One reader did recommend backing them on your hard drive, just be on the safe side, because apparently, Amazon can and does very rarely remove books from you device wirelessly, but it cannot remove them from you hard drive.)

The books are however unavailable for lending. I was unaware that this would happen before unpublishing Switched. When questioned about it, Amazon basically stated that they couldn't do anything about it and it was up to the publisher. Since I am the publisher, and I'm fine with them them being lended, I'm not exactly sure who it is up to then. I apologize for that.

Stupid Water

2011-07-29T01:32:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago, we had a torentual rain. It was like our house had been on fire, and to save us, Superman had taken the top from a water tower and dumped it on our house. But then we got water in our basement. So thanks, but no thanks, Superman, you douche. Batman would've just put out the fire with his fists.

We didn't get a ton of water in our house. Maybe an inch, and only in really in the parts of our basement that don't have carpet. So it's not too bad. But my office in the basement, and my office has carpet.

Pretty much immediately after we got water in the basement, I had a party, and I had friends staying with us, and then we left for Comic-con. So we did not get a chance to properly dry the carpet.

So now my office smells like musty stinky death. Eric claims it doesn't stink, but I'm starting to not trust his nose.

At any rate - I'm totally neurotic about writing. Like hardcore. Everything has to be just so and just right, and I'm having a hell of time not working in my office. But I don't want to work in my smelly office either.

We picked out new flooring today, and it's a fake wood laminate, which will actually work better for rolling the chairs around. But it probably won't get installed for awhile.

Which means that either I have to learn to deal with writing in the musty office or learn to write somewhere else. And I have to learn to deal with it fast, because I have a ton of work to do. Like a totally completely impossibly obscene amount of work.

So I'll have to deal with it. But not right now. I did some editing, and that's work. That's something. And now I'm watching Project Runway. Later I'll read Rules of Attraction because I heart Paul Denton.

A Bit More on My Decision...

2011-07-28T17:20:00.002-05:00

When a reader is deciding whether or not to read one of my books, they weigh a few things. Whether the book sounds interesting, what they've heard about it, if they've enjoyed my previous books, the price, things they've heard about me, etc.

When I have to decide what's in the best interest for my readers, my books, my career, and myself, the decision becomes a lot more complicated. Especially when considering what's good for one reader might be not-so-good for another.

When I decided to sell the rights for the Trylle Trilogy to St. Martin's, it wasn't something that I came to lightly. It was something I discussed with people, struggled with, and weighed the pros against the cons. I knew there would be cons - and one of those cons would be backlash from people who didn't understand or agree with my decision.

But in the end I came to the decision based primarily on this one fact: With St. Martin's, I would be able to produce a better quality product that would be more accessible to readers, and I would have the support of a house behind me to help take of some of the strain I've been under so I can focus on writing more books.

Are there downsides? Absolutely. But I believe the the pros outweighed the cons for the readers, the books, and myself.

The biggest complaint is going to be that I'm a sell out. This seems silly to me because I will be making less money per book sold than I am right now. Also, I haven't changed my opinion on publishing at all since I started this. But I digress.

The term "sell out" is going derive more from the fact that the price of the ebooks will go up with St. Martin's. I will reiterate, however, that I am making much, much less on higher priced ebooks than I am right now. People will argue that unlike paper books, ebooks cost next to nothing to make, so why should they really cost anything?

The fact is that St. Martin's is a huge corporation, which is why I signed with them. The money they make off the ebook goes into feeding said corporation, which includes their staff - of which I have frequent contact with my editor, two publicists, web design people, artists, marketing, etc. They're working on major cover launches, spreads in ads that book buyers - like Walmart and Target - read. There's a major ad campaign going underway that frankly, I couldn't afford or negotiate on my own. I simply do not have the expertise in it.

I'm not going to go into a total break down of where St. Martin's is spending their money, because honestly, I don't think it really matters to most readers. The point is that I know where it's going, and I think they earned their share of the royalties. I think that what they do justifies a higher increase in price.

With that said, both St. Martin's and I are working to keep the prices as low as possible, because we do value my readers. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you, and I know it. So out of respect and consideration for the readers, I don't want to unnecessarily raise prices.

In the end, I know some people won't agree with me. Some people will still think either I'm an idiot or a greedy asshole. Nothing I can say will ever change that opinion, so I just have to accept as part of the decision I made. I knew I would lose some readers in the transition, but I went ahead with it because I truly believe that this will benefit the readers who stayed around.

I guess all I'm really trying to say is that whether you agree with the decision or not, I want the readers to know that they factor heavily into all my decision making. In fact, they're probably the biggest factor, because without them, my books and I are nothing.

Good News, Everyone!

2011-07-26T14:15:00.001-05:00

I'm home!

I had a great time at Comic-con, and everyone on the panel was super nice. But I'll go in to that in more detail in another blog, because I have more announcements to make. (Other than to say that I saw Charlie Hunnam and totally squeed).

My announcement is this: I'm taking down Switched today, which means that in approximately 24-72 hours, it will no longer be for sale, (EDIT: Switched is no longer for sale as an ebook) and I'll be taking down Torn and Ascend by Friday, August 5, 2011.

You may be saying, "Wait a second. I thought this was good news!"

But it is! Because first of all, you still have plenty of time to buy any of the books in their current state at their current price. And if you don't get a chance to get them or decide not to get them now, they will be available again in a few months.

In an earlier blog, I mentioned I would be taking down the books in August and September to get ready for the St. Martin's release of the Trilogy. After talking with the publishers, we've decided to move the dates up to July and August because there is a big cover reveal for the new books happening in August, and we thought it would be wonky if the old books were still up.

Basically, St. Martin's is going to start their big launch for the Trilogy, and it would be confusing and messy if my older versions were still available. So I'm unpublishing them.

Here's why this is good news for you, the reader:

The big cover reveal is going to happen in early August. (I'll let you know the exact date as soon I find out). It's fun to see new covers. (Especially if you're Alex, who's been dying since I won't let him see him them yet.).
I'm also going to announce something new and fun with the Trilogy. I'm not going to tell you what that is yet, but I will at the same time as the cover reveal.
And remember, even if you don't get the books now at their current prices and forms, they will be available in a few months with less errors at only slightly higher prices. In fact, you can pre-order all three books in the Trylle Trilogy in paperback already, with the pre-ordering for ebooks coming soon. (The paperbacks are actually cheaper with St. Martin's).

Pre-order Switched: here
Pre-odrer Torn: here.
Pre-order Ascend: here.

For people who didn't know that the Trilogy was going to be published with St. Martin's, here's the blog where I discuss it from back in May: blog.

And now I am going to go spend some time with my dog and cats, who I missed terribly while I was away.

Comic-con!

2011-07-22T20:29:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time since I've last blogged, but for good reason. My life has been incredibly busy the past week and a half, but good busy.

I turned 27 last Tuesday, so now I'm officially the same age as Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, and Brian Jones were when they died. But I'll live, because I'm not a musician, and I don't mix sleeping pills with wine or heroin.

Because of my birthday, I had friends staying with me for a few days, and that was loads of fun. Plus I got to have a party where I saw people, which is neat, because I like people. At least the one I'm friends with, anyway.

And check out my super rad birthday cake:

My friends from out of town left this week, and on Wednesday, Eric and I headed out to the fine city of San Diego, where we are now.

And let me tell you, the city is beautiful. The weather is divine. When we left Minnesota, it was 98 degrees with like 90% humidity. Here it's a cool 72 and breezy. Plus, there's an ocean.

The view of the ocean from my hotel room.

Admittedly, I haven't seen that much of this lovely city, and I probably won't. I'm here for Comic-con. So far, it's been fun, with a whole lot of lines. Lots and lots of lines. Also, two Deloreans, and tons of Batman stuff.

If you are also at Comic-con and want to say hey, feel free. I will be wandering around the next few days. I'm also going to be on a panel on Sunday called "What's Hot in Young Adult Fiction." The other more famous, more talented authors on the panel are:

Kiersten White, author of Paranormalcy and the upcoming Supernaturally
Andrea Cremer, author of Nightshade and the upcoming Wolfsbane
Stephanie Perkins, author of Anna and the French Kiss and the upcoming Lola and the Boy Next Door
Laini Taylor, author of Lips Touch: Three Times and the upcoming Daughter of Smoke & Bone
Tahereh Mafi, author of the upcoming Shatter Me

It will be moderated by Nathan Bransford, former literary agent/current author of Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Kapow.

The panel starts at 10:00 am on Sunday and is in ballroom 23 ABC.

There's an autograph session afterwards that everyone else is doing, but not me. Here's why I'm not doing it: Because 99.98% of my readers buy my books electronically, my books aren't currently sold in bookstores, and I don't have headshots. So there's nothing for me to sign.

But if you want to me to sign something, I definitely will. I just didn't want to sit there acting like a fool without anything to sign.

Anyway... the moral of this blog is: Sorry I've been MIA lately, and I hope to see y'all at Comic-Con. :)

Why Won't Eric Goldman Watch Top Gun?

2011-07-11T02:18:00.001-05:00

This is the question on everyone's minds. Or it should be. Because I have been trying, without success, for several years to get Eric to watch it. I think it's important that he see it so can really appreciate what it means when I ask him to be my wingman.

The thing that frustrates me the most is I only suggest movies for Eric to watch that I think he'll enjoy. And he watches them, then enjoys them. (Remember, Beaches, Eric? Or how about Hello Dolly? And Princess Bride?! Or Clue? Flash Gordon? Heathers? Huh?! I know you better than you know yourself!) But for some reason, he's been refusing to watch the following movies: Top Gun and Moon.

Like me, Eric is a big fan of Sam Rockwell. Also like me, Eric is a big fan of things that are well done. Since Moon is both of these things, I can't imagine why he wouldn't like it. I've also recently learned the director of Moon is David Bowie's son. That means that he come from the loins that we've seen in Labyrinth. It is assuredly awesome.

Is Top Gun the greatest movie to come out of the 80s? No. It's not. But I never said it was. But it is good. Plus, Val Kilmer & Tom Cruise hate each other in real life, and they're hatred for each other is palpable on screen. That's fun to watch. Also, I recently learned that Kelly McGillis is a lesbian, and Eric tends to enjoy lesbians, so that should work in his favor. And the song "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin is played no less than 10,000 times through out the film.

If there's one thing you should know about my step-mom it's that she really likes Tom Cruise. And she really liked Top Gun. I think I watched it with her like 4 times. And I liked it every time. I also watched Far and Away, and I liked that. Something I never watched with her: Interview with the Vampire. She's afraid of vampires. So that's something else you should know about her.

Anyway. The point is that all my pestering is for naught. Eric refuses to watch Top Gun or Moon.

So I'm sending it out to you. Fans of either Top Gun or Moon, convince Eric why he should watch those films. If there's one thing you should know about Eric Goldman, it's that he's a sucker for peer pressure.

Here are some places that you can harrass him at:

This is Eric's blog: http://myposian.blogspot.com/
This is Eric's twitter: http://twitter.com/myposian
This is Eric's facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1271250033&sk=info

Also, the placeholder covers for my books are up at St. Martin's Press website. These are not the actual covers. Just the placeholder ones that show hints of the actual ones. And they are pretty. You can check them out: here.

And as per some minor, misplaced outrage at something I said in my last post. I said this: "One time, a month ago or so, I had dinner with my publisher and editor, and it went really well. But my publisher had talked with their website design guy, and he said that I post blogs at the worst possible times ever because it's like three in the morning, and that's bad blogging posting time."

This reason this was said wasn't so much because I post blogs at 3 am. It's because I post blogs at 3 am, then go to bed and wake up and check late in the afternoon/early evening, and there's already a slew of comments. It makes it harder for me to dialogue in the comments, which is why I so rarely do. It's not that I don't read the comments or appreciate them - it's that I find it hard to comment back on specific things because there's so many by the time I check it.

But either way - St. Martin's isn't making me post at different times. They aren't even suggesting it. They were just pointing out that it would probably be more effective if I posted them later, and if there's one thing I like, it's being effective.

But don't worry, yo. St. Martin's has gots my back. They haven't "made" me do anything. I've had input on everything that we've done, and I've agreed to it - not out of pressure or fear, but because I think it's the right thing to do.

Also, tomorrow is my birthday. Be prepared for a lengthy blog where I detail all my thoughts on my entire life. Just kidding (maybe).

Vices and Virtues

2011-07-09T04:41:00.002-05:00

One time, a month ago or so, I had dinner with my publisher and editor, and it went really well. But my publisher had talked with their website design guy, and he said that I post blogs at the worst possible times ever because it's like three in the morning, and that's bad blogging posting time.

I know he's right. Because he is. And I suppose eventually I'll have to correct it by posting blogs at real times, but for now, I'm writing and posting this blog right now because I want to and I can.

I actually have quite a few things to share with you guys, and almost all of it's awesome.

So in no particular order: Here's something new I'm doing. It's called Formspring. I don't really know what it is or why it exists, but you can ask me questions there and I'll answer them. Not all of them all the time, but I'll check it sometimes and answer some questions. So if you want to ask me a question, you can check it out here: http://formspring.me/AmandaHocking

I like the format, because I can pick which question to answer specifically, and it shows all my previous answers. My profile there can become a living breathing FAQ.

Also, a few days ago I got pictures of the placeholder cover for the Trylle Trilogy books for St. Martin's Press. Here's what I understand a placeholder cover to be: A cover that holds the place until the real cover is revealed, like on sites like Amazon where you can already pre-order St. Martin's version of Switched.

I am pretty sure I can show you guys the placeholder covers (which are really pretty and hint at what the real covers will look like), but I'm not 100% sure, so I'm going to wait and double check on Monday before I show you guys. Just to be sure.

I know they're planning a real big cover reveal deal. I'm not sure what all it entails, but I got a voicemail and an email about it today, so I'll find out on Monday more about that. But it sounds fun, and everybody likes fun things.

Not sure when the cover reveal will happen, but I'm thinking sometime early this fall. My understanding (which could be wrong) is that St. Martin's wants it coincide with when I take the Trylle Trilogy off sale.

Which brings me to the next point. As of August 1, 2011 I'm going to be unpublishing Switched. The release date for the St. Martin's edition of Switched is set for January 2012, and we (both me and the publisher) want that to have the most success it can, so we want to give Switched some time off the market.

I'm leaving both Torn and Ascend for sale until September 1, 2011 when I'll be unpublishing them both. I'm leaving for sale longer, so people who buy Switched now have a full month to purchase the other two books in their current state at their current price.

But even if you don't buy them in that thirty days, it's only a few months until St. Martin's releases their versions. So it's not that long of a wait.

Both St. Martin's and I are trying really hard to make this transition as smooth and as easy on the readers as possible.

I've just gone over the copy-edits on Switched, and it's looking really good. There haven't been major changes to the story - readers who've already read it will be happy to see find the things they loved about the book haven't changed. But the story is really polished up, grammar cleaned up and ideas streamlined a bit better. I've always believed it was a good book, but now I think it's actually pretty great.

Onto something less pleasant that I feel I need to bring up. It's more a writer's beware for authors out there. I'm mentioning it because it's a cover artist I once used and once recommended, and as a result, I feel his bad behavior falls back on me. If people choose to use him because of something I once said, I want them to understand that I recant any recommendation, and here's why: http://www.kindleboards.com/index.php/topic,74897.75.html

That's a link over to the Kindleboards, which I don't frequent as much as I used to, but it's still overall a great bunch of people and the best place to learn anything about self-publishing. I don't know why I stopped hanging out there as much. Because they are neat and helpful.

Okay, so onto a happier note. I know I pre-ordered Panic! at the Disco's album Vices and Virtues, but I just today realized that I never got it. So I bought it on iTunes, and I'm listening to it now, and it's very good. I think I like it more than their prior two albums. If you like music that is a delight to your ears, you should buy it.

Also, I've made another vision board, since my last one worked out astonishingly well. When I started making it though, Eric told me that it didn't count because I'd just put wants on there and not dreams. We ended up in a debate about whether or not the Secret worked on wants, too, since it supposedly worked for a boy wanted a bike. But that's not the point.

What constitutes the difference between a want and a dream? I have so many plans for my life, so many things I hope to do and accomplish. Aren't some of them dreams?

Here's what's on my vision board (or what I'm trying to convince the universe I want with it): the Trylle Trilogy being a movie (with Michael Wincott), getting to go to The Dark Knight Rises premiere next year, a Delorean, and Pete Wentz.

Okay, yes, I get that the Delorean could fall under a "want" since it's a car, but it's a magic car that I've wanted for years, so I think it should fall under a "dream." And then obviously, having my books turned into movies would be a dream come true. And I really, really want Michael Wincott to be in it, and I think I want it enough to be a dream.

Alright. Pete Wentz probably isn't a dream, and I'm also not really expecting the vision board to follow through with it. But it's the only thing that my last vision board didn't deliver on, and even if this one doesn't, I can still look at him. And I can't imagine that it really hurts to let the universe know that I'm interested in dating foxy rock stars. You know, just case in the universe was wondering.

Something you might not know: When I was in high school, I got really sad about the idea of being a writer. I mean, I wanted to be a writer, but everything I knew about writers made them seem boring and stodgy, or they were older men and alcoholics and depressed. I didn't want to be any of those things. I wanted to have fun and be silly, like a rock star.

But now that I'm older, I realize I can be whatever writer I want to be. That's an important truth. Or at least is to me. You live your life on your terms. Don't let anybody else's definitions rule you. Define yourself.

Something You Should Go Out and Buy Right Now

2011-07-06T00:13:00.000-05:00

I have been alive along time (nearly 27 years), and in that time, I have seen many things. Some things made me laugh. In fact, lots of things make me laugh, quite a lot. But I have never once laughed as hard as I did back in that fateful night of November 2009.

That is the night I saw RiffTrax Live - a live telecast performance of RiffTrax riffing on Plan 9 From Outerspace in theaters across the country. RiffTrax are three of the fellas from Mystery Science Theater 3000 (namely Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot), and Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo)), and RiffTrax is essentially the exact same thing as MST3K but without the puppets.

When I'm explaining it to you, it sounds stupid. Because basically, it's just three guys talking over a movie. But the fact is, it's really frickin funny.

Anyway - to continue with this story. I've seen many funny things. I have both entire serieses of Monty Python and Kids in the Hall on DVD, as well as having a lot of episodes of Family Guy, Archer, Futurama, and Perfect Strangers on DVD. And I've seen most of the episodes of MST3K.

I've also seen lots of movies. Perhaps as many as 85% of the movies that have come out of America in the past 50 years. I would say that number is close to accurate.

Despite all that, I have never seen anything as funny as RiffTrax LIVE doing Plan 9 From Outerspace. So it was much to my splendid, glorious surprise when Amazon recommended that I buy said performance on DVD. The very show I saw. Available on DVD.

I have just ordered the DVD, so I have not received it yet, and I'm not sure how the live performance looks on DVD. What I do know is that I laughed so much by the end of the night I was literally in pain in my belly. Nothing has ever or will ever be funnier.

So it is what that in mind I strongly urge to rush out and buy yourself a copy. I can't imagine a scenario in which you'd regret it. Buy it: here.

P.S. Johnathan Coulton also performed live that night. So... that's an added bonus. And there's a really funny shorty about being a stewardess. So, it's totally worth it.

Here I Am!

2011-07-01T18:48:00.000-05:00

I went ten whole days without Tweeting or blogging or Facebooking. TEN DAYS. (Although I did retweet things Mark Hoppus and Neil Patrick Harris said last week, because I wanted to).

Side note: Did you see the most awesome thing in the universe?

(In case you're wondering the significance of said tweet, it's that my heroes are John Hughes, Jim Henson, Mark Hoppus, and Batman. Out of those four, Mark Hoppus is the only that's still alive and not fictional. So... that's awesome.)

Anyway, back to the story. You may ask, why did you go ten days without using those things? Were you trapped in a cold dark cave without any internet?

So I'll recap for you what my life was like for the past ten days:

Last Tuesday, I left to go on a houseboat with Eric and my dog Elroy. The plan was to get away, relax, enjoy nature, and finish my book. I'm going to make a long story short but what ended up actually happening was that we got on the boat, parked to take a nap, and woke up to find ourselves stranded with a dead engine, no radio, no cell phone service. We were completely stranded, and our only means of escape would be swimming several miles to Canada.

After several days of this, we were rescued by some nice people who saw us waving from our boat. After that, we decided to cut our trip short and return home.

On the boat, while suffering fear of my imminent demise (and frequently muttering, "This sorta thing would never happen to J.K. Rowling"), I got no writing done. And I still had much to do.

So when we got home, I decided to keep the internet ban that had been imposed on me on the boat so I could work without distractions. I would pretend I was still on the boat, but I could call 911 if I fell down and cracked open my skull. Well, I probably couldn't call 911 if I cracked open my skull, but Eric could. And that's what counts.

At any rate, that's what I've been doing. I've been finishing Wake, the first book in the series that St. Martin's purchased. I've gone through it twice, for edits and revisions, and Eric's gone through it once. He just finished reading it twenty minutes ago, so I'll be going over that with him and seeing where he thinks I can improve stuff.

Then next week, I'll send out to the book to my lovely editor Rose and find out what she thinks of it. (Fingers crossed she doesn't hate it).

I'll be honest - this book took me an awfully long time to write. I'd been about half-way through with it for months. I started it back in February and was working on it really well into my life started blowing up publicly. Then I really slowed down and didn't work on it much until recently.

Don't get me wrong - I love the story. I'm really excited about the premise and the characters, and I think it has a lot of potential to be a really awesome series. It was just that whole "butt in the chair" thing.

Every time I'd get my butt in the chair to write, I'd start surfing around on the internet, and I would start thinking about how I needed to write a really good book. The good people at St. Martin's Press have been ridiculously supportive of me, but there is a sense of pressure on me that I didn't have before. Not from them and not even really from my readers. Just from me.

I feel like I really had to prove myself with this book, and it's hard to focus on the story and get any perspective when you're thinking, "This has to be the best book I've ever written."

When I finally got out of my head and forced myself to sit there and write, then it all just came together. I write because I enjoy writing, and sometimes that's easy to forget when writing becomes your job. But once I started, I was on a roll of awesomeness.

For those of you who want to know more about Wake, I don't want to really say a lot at this time. Also, since I have St. Martin's with me on this, I don't have write blurbs for it anymore (true story - writing blurbs is harder than writing books). So when they come up with a blurb, I'll share that.

All I can really say is that it's a young adult paranormal romance and things happen in it.

I did make this fancy soundtrack to go with it, though. And you can listen to that. (My soundtracks consist of the 15 or so songs that I listen to while writing the book that fit the best with the book itself. I think.)

Anyway - I'm glad to be back. Believe me when I say I missed you more than you missed me.

Those People Aren't My Family

2011-06-19T18:00:00.000-05:00

You may or may not have read the fun piece by Strawberry Saroyan in the New York Times Magazine today. (If you haven't, and you'd like to, here's a link: Amanda Hocking, Storyseller.) I thought it was a very nice piece, and Strawberry was super cool to hang out with and talk to.

The interview was actually very serendipitous. An editor from the NY Times emailed me about doing a story on me sometime in February (after I posted the blog on the amazing William Fichtner, because he talked about Fichtner in the emails). Eventually, Strawberry called me, and we set up a time to meet. She just happened to pick March 24th, which just happened to be the day St. Martin's Press announced the book deal for the Watersong series. I had no idea those two events would occur on the same day, but they did.

The one bad thing about it is that both events happened on Eric's birthday (March 24th), which made me feel really guilty because I pretty much hijacked his birthday, since the day ended up being quite a few phone calls and press about the book deal. And I still feel bad about that. Sorry for stealing your birthday, Eric.

If you read the NY Times, you may have noticed the picture of me that accompanied it. In case you missed it, here's the pic:

(Side note: The guy who took the picture - Ben Innes - is the first person to photograph me using an actual camera that uses real film instead of digital. Also, he told me this great joke: What do you call a wharf next to a pier? A paradox. Get? Cause they're a pair of docks? Anyway. It's a great joke, and he was a nice guy.)

Anyway. Back to the picture. I don't know how many have you noticed something odd about the picture. But check out the picture frames in the picture:

Yep. Those people aren't my family. They are the pictures that came with the frame. In fact, two of the frames have the same picture, and two of them are upside down.

There's a reason for this. I put them up the day before the pictures were taken. Strawberry interviewed me way back in March, but Ben took the picture a few weeks ago, and I haven't lived in my house that long. So I hadn't finished putting things up and decorating.

But I knew people were coming to take the picture, and the music room is like the coolest looking room in the house, so I wanted to have it semi-finished. (The music room is where the picture was taken. It has a piano in it and a giant picture of the Beatles. Hence the name).

For some reason, I assumed that the frames wouldn't really be in the picture so you wouldn't be able to tell that there's random strangers in them. But then if the frames wouldn't really be in the picture, then why did I hang them? I don't know. I didn't really think it through, I guess.

Also - here's something my mom wanted me to clarify. Well, she didn't want me to clarify, but she was upset by it. In the article, it says this:

My mom doesn't think I'm better than anyone. She loves me a lot and thinks I'm neat, but she doesn't think anyone is better than anyone else. Honest. If she ever thought I was acting like I was better than anyone else or that I even thought it, she would smack me upside the head. Literally.

So. That's that.

A Series of Things That Matter to Me

2011-06-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

My poor neglected blog. It's been over a week since I last posted. I don't know where my head's at. I guess I like to save up days so when I blog, I feel like I have a lot to talk about (even though I don't. Not really).

First up on things I'm talking about today - my friend/fantastic author J. L. Bryan just posted a great blog and included some insanely cute pics of his brand new baby boy.

Here's just one snapshot of the adorable Bryan Jr:

Jeff also has these words to share with you all: Here's how you can help with the baby: 60-70% of each book I sell goes directly to providing for him. This would be a great time to try Jenny Pox or any of my other books, conveniently available on your favorite e-reader platform (or Smashwords if you really want a good deal--you get all ebook formats, so that's handy if you decide to change e-readers in the future).

He talks about more stuff in his blog, including some hints on the third book in the Jenny Pox series. So you should check it out, if you like checking out awesome things.

Things you may not know about me news: I am crazy about my birthday. I am more excited for this upcoming birthday than I have been since my sixteen birthday. I don't know why, exactly, since I'm turning 27 and that isn't too exciting. But I am excited.

So today I ordered my birthday cake, and it's fantazamazing. That's right. It's new word awesome.

I ordered it from Daube's in Rochester, because it's a well-known fact that they make some of the best cakes in the area. My dad used to get stuff from them all the time when I was younger. This was my first time ordering anything from them myself, and my assistant Eric was looking up reviews on Daube's, and everybody was saying that their food was amazing but the staff was super rude. So I was a little afraid to go there.

This turned out to be entirely false. The guy helping us at Daube's was incredibly nice, even though I basically just ordered a cake with a picture on my cell phone. The place was pretty busy, but the staff was very nice and courteous to both me and Eric. They were the opposite of rude, and my cake is going to be the opposite of terrible. So a big shout out to Daube's for being rad!

I actually had a super fun day today. I didn't do anything too exciting. But I got to have lunch with my friend Pete, and today is her birthday. (Happy birthday, Baby Pete, even though you're getting to be less and less of a baby). And that was fun seeing her.

The worst thing about being adult: You never see enough of your friends. I watched Super 8 the other day, and it was a really good movie. But all the kids running around, being silly and doing kid stuff, that made me realize that's what's bugging me about growing up. I miss just being an idiot with my friends. I mean, I still am, but growing up is silly.

Also, the score for Super 8 was phenomenal. I assumed it was John Williams (because Spielberg produced), but it was actually Michael Giacchino. He's very quickly become a composer to watch. He stuff is very sweet with a bit whimsy, but he can also do the grandiose. He's sorta like if John Williams and Danny Elfman had a baby, and it was a savant composer baby, that was also magic since two men conceived it.

Anyway - enough of that bit of a ramble. Onto the next tangent: For those of you who enjoy reading my tweets and blogs, I have sad news for you. For 10 days towards the end of June, I will be renting a houseboat, and I will most likely have little to no internet access. This means no tweets or blogs.

But for those of you who like reading books I write, this is good news. I'm getting away to work on some writing (as well as relax and clear my head a bit).

I'll be finishing up the first book in the Watersong series (a lot of the book revolves around boats and water, so I thought a houseboat would be the perfect place to finish it up). But I'll also be working on some fun little treats for fans of the Trylle series. You'll have to wait a while (like... six months to check it out), but I think it'll definitely be enjoyable for you guys.

My friend Fifi (her name's really Tiffany, but we call her Fifi, even though I think she hates it) is going to be housesitting for me when I'm gone. This is really good news, because Eric and my dog Elroy are going on the houseboat with me, but my beloved cats and fish will be home. I have this insane, obsessive fear that something will happen to both the cats and fish every second that I'm not home, so I'll feel better knowing Fi is here to protect and watch over them.

The more stuff I wanted to say, but I feel like I've rambled on long enough, and I've forgotten what it was. The point is: You folks rock, and I love you.

More News!!!

2011-06-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

I've been sitting on some mighty exciting news that I've been dying to share. Like literally dying. My internal organs were combusting with my attempts to keep this a secret. (Combusting organs is a new disorder that is so rare, I'm the only person that's ever had it).

I'm going to be on a YA panel at Comic-Con in San Diego in July. The Comic-Con I have been pouting about being unable to attend and sulking over as I watch G4 the past several years. I will be there. On a panel. With lots of other super rad YA authors.

Who are these other authors, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Kiersten White, author of Paranormalcy and the upcoming Supernaturally
Andrea Cremer, author of Nightshade and the upcoming Wolfsbane
Stephanie Perkins, author of Anna and the French Kiss and the upcoming Lola and the Boy Next Door
Laini Taylor, author of Lips Touch: Three Times and the upcoming Daughter of Smoke & Bone
Tahereh Mafi, author of the upcoming Shatter Me

The panel will be moderated by Nathan Bransford, former literary agent/current author of Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Kapow. He also has one of the (if not the) most informative blogs on writing and business of writing. So if you haven't checked that out, you totally should: http://blog.nathanbransford.com/

Other than being a little (incredibly) intimidated by all the talent on the panel, I'm pretty stoked. I don't personally know any of the other authors, but it'll be great fun to talk with them and interact with readers in person. This will be the first speaking-type engagement I've done, and it will be at Comic-con - the happiest place on Earth!

I am crazy excited/honored/humbled/amazed at this opportunity. And I once again have to thank all of you guys for making this happen. Without all the incredible support from all of you, I'd never have sold a book or been asked to be on a panel. Every single day, you guys make my dreams come true. And I love you for it.

In smaller but still fun news: The 2011 Book Blogger's Cookbook is available now. It was compiled by Christy Dorrity, and includes a forward from yours truly. It's a fun idea that pairs recipes with books. It even has a recipe "I Hate Chocolate Cake" to go along with my book, Switched.

Also, if you're in the Southern Minnesota area on Friday, I will be at my mom's house signing copies of my books at her garage sale. She lives in Adams, MN, and all the proceeds from book sales are going to help get Adams a new pool.

And to end the blog, check out how rad my dog Elroy looks in his new life-vest:

The Mighty Outline

2011-06-03T01:13:00.000-05:00

Questions I get from people a lot are "Do you outline?" and "How do you outline?" I was trying to think of ways to show people, but I didn't know how to use books I published or planned to publish because I didn't want to give away spoilers in the outline.

But I finally figured out a way to do it. I'm using an unfinished book I wrote called Reckless Abandon. It's not very good, and it's insanely long. I was a little over half-way through with it when I quit, and it was 114,000 words. (In comparison, Switched is just under 80,000 words). I also realized it was boring and nothing happened.

I did quite enjoy the writing of it, though, and it was a good exercise. According to my notes, I started writing it back in 2008, before I wrote My Blood Approves or any of the Trylle Trilogy. I'm scanned my outline and the notes I made, and I'm going to show you the first couple pages of the book, too, so you get an idea of how translates.

You'll have to click on the pictures to see them at full size, because I didn't want this blog to be ridiculously long.

Without further ado, here begins my notes for Reckless Abandon.


These are the very first notes I had on the book, with my general brainstorming ideas. I date everything, because I'm neurotic, and I apparently started this on 11/9/08.

My original title for this was "Can't Keep From Falling Asleep," which clearly is too long and cumbersome. This is where I begin to get a more cohesive idea of what the book will be about with major plot points and general ideas.

Here's what I call a "Cheat Sheet." It has my cast list and all important info that I might need to know for continuity purposes. I keep it on the top of my outline to refer to as a I write. I always "cast" my books with real people. I've blacked them out now, because that's how I roll. Except for Patrick Fugit, because he's awesome.

This is the first page of the outline. Whenever I finish writing a chapter, I strike through it so I know it's done. The scribbled out lines are things I've decided not to use. I cut stuff from the outline stage a lot, too.

This is second page of the outline. Not too exciting. At the top, I've written down songs I was listening to while I was working on it. Why? I don't know. It's something I do, though.

Here's a close up of the numbers in the left margin of the outline. The purple one is the day the story takes place, meaning that chapter is supposed to is set on November 12th. The blue number is the chapter, so that's chapter 12.

Here's the numbers in the right margin. The pink one is the day I finished writing it, in this case, it was November 18th, 2008. The gray number below it is my word count at the end of finishing that chapter. By the end of that chapter, I was at 32,030 words.

This is page five of the outline. As you can see, I change stuff a lot, cutting things and moving stuff around. I think outlines need to be fluid and adjust as the story goes on. The last two chapters on the page I haven't written, which is why they don't have lines through them.

Here's a page of notes I did for the book. I had to do some research for some things that take happen in it, and here's the pertinent information I wrote down. Some books have more notes than other. My Blood Approves has like 8 pages of notes. Reckless Abandon only had the one.

That all brings us to the book itself. I'm only posting the first two pages, because I think that gives you a general idea of how the first chapter outline turned into the book. I was going to post the entire first chapter, but it felt too long and boring, so I skipped it.

Obviously, outlines vary person to person.This is the way I outline, but there really is no wrong way or right way. I started outlining this way because it works for me, and this is pretty much the exact same way I've written the four My Blood Approves books, the Trylle Trilogy, Hollowland, and Virtue. I have an outline just like this one for Hollowmen and Wake.

Also, no need to point out issues with Reckless Abandon. It hasn't been edited at all, other than a cursory read through I did before posting it now. I didn't really want to go over in-depth, because I know the book sucks. It's slow and boring, and I'm pretty sure that nothing happens. The love interest doesn't even show up until the seventh chapter.

So... there. I hope this answers people's questions and is helpful in some way.

Some Random Things From Two Years Ago

2011-06-02T03:58:00.000-05:00

I'm reading old blogs from previous blog incarnations of mine (namely, myspace.) And I'm making myself laugh. As a result, I've decided to clip and paste some of my favorite parts. This is really best I had to say from 2009. There's some stuff about me writing books, too. Which is fun.

"I do really hard things every day. I'm like a super hero. I know they're really hard things because nobody else can do them. For example, there was ketchup spilled on the counter, but it was so hard to get off, that people had to leave it there so it would dry and get hard and then I could clean it off at 11:30 at night. That's how hard it was. Good thing I'm such a super hero. Otherwise that ketchup might have been there until the end of time."

* * *

"Here's the thing: CGI is just like Keanu Reeves: it looks good, it's useful in moderation in action movies, but there's no substance. And puppetry is like Meryl Streep: no matter how you use it, or how small the part, it always carries the film."

* * *

"I am listening to Taylor Hanson and liking it. I feel I've won."

* * *

"Ponyboy Curtis. Worst name EVER."

* * *

"Being me sure is an unnecessary adventure. And by adventure, I mean not an adventure."

* * *

"Good thing I didn't have that new Verizon hub. How does that even work as a house phone anyway? And do you really need to text from you home phone? Eventually people will just stop speaking entirely. George Orwell is like Nostradamus."

* * *

"Jim Henson makes you cool. It's a well-known fact. Find a cool person, ask them if they dig Jim Henson. If they don't, then they're not really cool. It's all an act."

* * *

"From a blog posted on March 27, 2009: I'm working harder than I've ever worked before. And I don't know what more to do. I mean, I'm not gonna stop trying. Ever.

But I would like to try a different approach, since this one doesn't seem to be working, and doing the same thing I always do will get me the same things I've always gotten. So if anyone has any ideas, I'll take them all. If I ever want my books to get published, I've got to do something to make it happen, but I'm not entirely sure what that it is."

* * *

"I stand by the Chuck Palahniuk quote I posted the other day. The one where we're all sheep. Insectile. Thinking the same thought. One memory. All that jazz. But today, instead of thinking it's sad and wrong, I enjoy it. I have no social life. But I sure do feel connected, knowing that at least 20,000 other people watched Jimmy Fallon and did the exact same thing as me. Never underestimate the power of the masses."

* * *

"By the time I read the end of 1984, I was thinking that communism was a good idea. Big Brother totally turned me around to his way of thinking. I've never understood if that was the intention of the book or not. Like Animal Farm scared me, and I think it might be why pigs scare me now. But after 1984, I was like, 'Man, I'm jealous. It seems like Big Brother has life figured out.' Cause he totally did."

* * *

"From a blog posted March 11, 2009: Once, I watched this movie with Albert Brooks in it, and he was a writer. I used to be really into him for awhile. I was like 12, and I was like, 'Yeah, I totally relate to you 40-year-old Jewish neurotic.'

Anyway - in the movie Albert Brooks is trying to figure out why his mom hates him, so he stays with her. When he's cleaning out her sowing room, he finds all these short stories on the top shelf of her closet. She wrote this really great one about Amelia Earhardt that he just loved, but they were all dated a long time ago, like before Albert Brooks was born.

So Albert Brooks takes this stories to his mom, and he's says, 'These are good. Why didn't you get these published? I never knew you wrote. Why didn't you tell me you wrote? Do you still write?' And she talks about being a woman in the 50's or whatever, and having kids, and how that just went on the back burner, and blah blah. There's a really neat moral to the story, but if you want to see you have to watch the film. (It's called Mother and it also stars Debbie Reynolds. So it's pretty good).

My point is: Sometimes I wonder if that'll be me someday. Like when I'm dead or old and crazy, and somebody's cleaning out my house, and they'll be all, 'What? I never knew she wrote. Huh.' If that's what the culmination of my life's work will be. Manuscripts in the closet of a spare room."

* * *

"For what it’s worth, Marilyn Manson is one of the few consistently awesome musicians out there. I always enjoy his music. Well, everything after 'Portrait of an American Family.' I wish he would drop the whole 'oh look at me I'm dark and mysterious and evil or something' schtick. Nobody thinks he's hardcore. His music is better than he is, but it's like goth pop. Metallic new wave. It's about as hardcore as lima beans. I love his always. But seriously? You're 40. Grow up."

* * *

"For true, this is like one of the proudest stories of my life. The very first time I saw The Sixth Sense without knowing anything about it, I went to see it with Tiffany Newman in the old Sterling Three Theater. And right away, after Bruce Willis got shot, I said, 'I bet he's dead.' And I won"

* * *

"I was like the lamest kid. But I'm not lame now. I'm super cool. I'm the third coolest person you've ever met. So there. I was like an ugly duckling that turned into a fancy loon. That's right. No swans here. Swans are dicks."

* * *

"If I were a magic 8 ball, I would say, 'Reply hazy, try again.' And then when you tried again, 'Outlook not so good.' That's what I would say. But there's 1 in 20 chance that if you asked me if I liked Batman, I would say, 'My sources say no.' So as a magic 8 ball, I wouldn't be completely accurate."

* * *

"I've been saying 'Take it!' a lot really aggressively when things happen contrary to the way other people want it too. I'm starting to feel like a rapist as a result. And not in a good way."

* * *

"You guys, Evan Almighty is a really good movie. I don't care what you think. I have issues with impatience, and I know that I need to learn better. And I always think of Evan when Morgran Freeman was all, 'When you ask for patience, does God just give you patience or does he give an opportunity to be patient?' And for some reason, that makes me feel better. Even though I don't believe in Morgan Freeman."

* * *

"Forever is a long time. Time is a wicked, wicked fiend that always seems to speed up when it should slow down, and slow down when it should speed up. It never ever gets the pace just right."

* * *

"Okay. The thing is that writing really excites me, and it’s like five in the morning. I mean, this is what I live for. For true. Heroin addicts have heroin, terrorists have terror, and I have book comas. I know that would've had better symmetry if I was like a book comaist, but that's not a word."

* * *

"I sure do like people that I don't actually have to interact with... like celebrities and fictional characters and old home movies. Someday, I'll probably be a hermit. I require a very small amount of human interaction."

* * *

"Dear Savage Garden: There's a reason that you’re not still famous, but you're prolly the best thing to happen to Cherry Cola."

* * *

"I was downstairs, watching this "film" entitled Watchers from 1988. I missed the first five minutes, but there's lab experiments gone awry! There's something with big hairy arms killing people. The police think it's a sasquatch. Boy, are they in for a surprise. And then there's a Golden Retriever. And get this! He's smarter than Corey Haim! Will the wackiness ever end?

If I had a time machine, and it could only take me one place in time, I would not have it take me to five minutes before Heath Ledger took those pills or to November 1963 to tell JFK to maybe not drive around in a convertible that day.

No, no. It would be to somewhere in 1987, to the pitch meeting for Watchers. To hear an agent and screen writer and Corey Haim pitching this idea to someone, to see them nod their heads in approval... that would all be worth it to me."

Q & A (The A Part)

2011-05-29T22:16:00.002-05:00

First up, I'd like to remind everybody that Virtue is currently for sale for the Kindle. I published it for the Nook and the Kindle at the same time, but it's still not up at Barnes & Noble yet. I'm not sure why not, but it should be up soon (hopefully, tomorrow). Meanwhile, it is for sale at Smashwords in formats supported by the iPad, Kobo, Nook, etc. of you'd like to check out it there.

Eric and I finally got the vlog up. It took three different takes, and lots and lots of time uploading. It's longer than I'd originally wanted (ending up at about 14 minutes), and I didn't even answer all the questions you guys asked. Thanks to everybody for all the great questions, and if you guys like this, we might try it again later.

P.S. This is the super awesome shirt I'm wearing in the video that you can't really see:

P. P. S. When Eric says, "Did they call him a question, and ask him Brad?" at the beginning, he meant to say, "Did they ask him a question, and call him Brad?" And that's really, really funny to me.

P. P. P. S. The reference to "Inside the Actor's Studio" doesn't make any sense because Eric had asked me ten questions from the show, but the video ran way too long, so we cut out the questions. So yep.

UPDATED: Virtue is on the Way!

2011-05-27T23:58:00.001-05:00

I published Virtue to Amazon and Barnes & Noble a few hours ago. I also uploaded the paperback version, but that won't be proofed and ready for like a week or so. Amazon and Barnes & Noble should be for sale sometime within the next 24-48 hours.

UPDATED: Virtue is already for sale at Amazon!

Eric and I will be doing the vlog that answers your questions tomorrow (Saturday) and uploading it sometime that day.

Virtue

A Fairy Tale

In a world filled with magic, love might be the final answer in the eternal battle between good and evil. When Lux is tasked with retrieving the virtuous Lily for his master, his entire world is put in jeopardy. Lux must battle goblins, demon dogs, and sea dragons to rescue the one he loves, and that's only the beginning of what he must face...

Virtue is a fairy tale for young adults with action, suspense, and romance. It contains mild language and some suggestive dialogue. Recommended ages 14 and up.

Click here to read an excerpt
Click here to listen to the soundtrack

In the meantime, I thought I would leave you with some fun facts about Virtue:

-I created the characters of Beeze and Cifer for the fantabulous actor Doug Jones to play in the movie version (because there will be a movie version)
-Virtue is a stand-alone novel. There will be no sequels.
-It's Eric's favorite book of mine and he won't stop talking about how awesome it is
-While researching things for the book, I'm pretty sure I accidentally summoned a demon that lived in our old house (see: My Roommate, Buer)
-There's a unicorn in it. Because I love unicorns.
-I listened to "Sandalwood" by Lisa Loeb a lot when I started writing it. But I think the song "Cosmic Love" by Florence + the Machine fits best.
-I just now asked Eric what are some other fun facts I can say about Virtue, and Eric said, "Every character was based on Eric." So... that's not true.

But at any rate, Virtue is a lot of fun, and if you enjoyed Switched and Hollowland, you'll probably like it. And I hope you check it out. I'll be sure to post whenever it officially goes up for sale, but like I said earlier, it should be within the next day or two.

Q & A (The Q Part)

2011-05-25T01:25:00.000-05:00

My good friend/platonic lifemate/assistant Eric and I were talking the other day. He's obsessed with Rosie O'Donnell, and she has a feature on her blog called "Ask Ro." Ever since I've had a blog, Eric has been suggesting that I have an "Ask Mandy" feature. (That last part makes more sense when you know that he and Barry Manilow call me "Mandy.")

Anyway, I have new book coming out next week. (A fun fairytale called Virtue. For more info on it, click: here.) So I thought now would be a good time to try out the "Ask Amanda" thing. Or "Ask Mandy," if you prefer. I've never much cared what people call me. I'm not like Bradley Cooper and insist you call me "Bradley" even though I'm an adult male.

Here's how the "Ask Amanda" thing will work:

In the comments section of this very blog, you write a question. If it's profane or illegible, I won't answer it. If it asks for a spoiler (i.e. how will the last My Blood Approves book end?), then I won't answer it. Otherwise pretty much everything is fair game.

You have until Thursday, May 26th at midnight (central time) to ask a question. Then on Friday, Eric and I will go through the questions and pick some to answer. We'll just pick them based on whatever strikes our fancy. (Note: Eric's fancy will probably have a larger pull than my fancy, since he's very excited about this).

Then sometime either on Friday or Saturday, Eric and I will make a video blog (a vlog, if you will) with the answers to the questions. Why a video? I don't know. It's something that Rosie used to do, and apparently, it's important to the whole "Ask Ro" theme.

I'm not sure how many questions we'll answer (and Eric will be helping answer, so feel free to direct questions to him). I guess it depends on how many questions you ask and how long it takes me to answer. We'll probably spend about 5 or 10 minutes answering them, because any longer than that feels like something I would fast forward through.

So there you have it. Ask away!